Thursday, June 22, 2017

Beautiful Voices Interview

Months and months ago I was featured on the Beautiful Voices blog series at Annmarie Gianni. This is a series they do that features folks who use their products. I haven't shared this on the blog so now I'm finally getting around to it. You can find the interview here. If you do take time to read this I thank you.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

#love #beautiful #happy #life

What a beautiful world we live in. I think about the globe we live on, how many people there are, how each one of us is a unique individual with no copy and it blows my mind. Each one of us was born into this world to be exactly who we are. We are not here to think like anyone else, act like anyone else, have the same talents as everyone else or to make the same mark as everyone else. We get to be us, the only one of our kind. That is what makes living beautiful. We all get to be the captains of our own ships.

Some folks want to captain other people's ships and this is when we get into trouble. If we look deeply at why some people feel like they have the right to captain someone else's ship we can usually trace it back to religion. Almost all religions have components regarding saving others and about questioning faith. These two things alone give people permission to take the text of their faith and cast judgment on others and then never question the text they use to judge others. It is cycle that is ripe for promoting hatred. It is so easy to question someone else's faith but not our own. We believe we are right and so do those who have beliefs that are different from our own. Does being right correlate to where you live and what you believe on the soil you are standing on? Who is right? We are so quick to decide someone else's religion is crazy but then never conclude the same about our own no matter how crazy it is. Everyone thinking everyone else is wrong hasn't help so far.

No one ever lives a perfect life so we will fail when following dogma. That leads to judgment and generally people judge others to keep from looking at their own wrong/guilt. They will also apply weight to the transgressions and then they will weigh the transgressions of others more heavy than their own to make themselves feel better, cause they may be wrong but at least someone is more wrong.

So, we cannot question our faith because if we do that is the greatest transgression. Wow, someone was thinking when they came up with this one. I'm going to take a minute to question faith just so none of you will have to. 

What if we were born into a world where people did not judge others? What if we were taught to love others and honor who they are? What if there weren't archaic laws in existence that govern how we should be? What if we had been taught that people who look different, act different or believe different are perfect just the way they are? What if every person had been taught this? Right now it's kind of the opposite. There are people in the world who would kill to make sure we are not different and that we do things the way they think things should be done. There are people everywhere and in every religion that feel like that. This is a fact that scares us. No matter how much the government tries to force us to believe this should be our greatest worry, the facts do not point there. More now than ever people, who are not of the traditional faith of the United States, are under attack for their faith, not the shoe on the other foot. We need to get that straight. We have been scared into believing that we are under siege when in fact we are killing our own selves. Brown people who happen to be Muslim are not the problem like we think they are. That is just an excuse to go to war at some point in the future to feed the war machine that makes rich men richer. Guns (American guns) are now the 3rd leading cause of death in children and then there is this statistic:

The pressure to fit in and to be seen as a success alone can take a toll.

Number of deaths for leading causes of death:
Heart disease: 614,348
Cancer: 591,699
Chronic lower respiratory diseases: 147,101
Accidents (unintentional injuries): 136,053
Stroke (cerebrovascular diseases): 133,103
Alzheimer's disease: 93,541
Diabetes: 76,488
Influenza and Pneumonia: 55,227
Nephritis, nephrotic syndrome and nephrosis: 48,146
Intentional self-harm (suicide): 42,773

The leading causes of death are diseases related to stress. Also, in the top 10 is "intentional self-harm." That sometimes comes from societal pressure as well. I know these diseases are also caused by diet but...

"According to the American Psychological Association, chronic stress is linked to the six leading causes of death: heart disease, cancer, lung ailments, accidents, cirrhosis of the liver and suicide. And more than 75 percent of all physician office visits are for stress-related ailments and complaints."

We as a whole seem to inflict more unintentional harm on ourselves and each other than almost any other cause of death. People are usually stressed more by not measuring up than any other thing. There is something in our world here in the US that teaches us what the measure of success is and we are crippled by not being able to reach that bar. No one seems to see that these rules are made up and that we can make up our own rules. What others think of us cannot make us anything. We only become that thing if we believe we are that.

We can make up new rules. I know we may think that religion doesn't permit this but even the bible says:

Proverbs 23:7
For as he thinks in his heart, so is he.

We need to become proponents of thinking a new way in our hearts so we can be that. We need to love people like they are. When we do we will be able to receive love for being who we are. When we aren't loved like this it because we don't love others like this. The reason we don't love others like this is because we love them at the same level we believe we deserve love. If we can't love we don't think we are loveable.

We have to shift the ugly in this world. Being guided by the ugliness will only create more ugliness. We have some shining and sparkling to do and we have not been doing it.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

so I did that

My horoscope said:

"Venus also happens to be gelling with Pluto, suggesting that deep-seated emotions will intensify a significant bond. Processing private feelings that you find unsettling will empower self-acceptance. Libras often have trouble owning their not-so-pretty emotions such as anger, but in order to love yourself, you must come to terms with the whole truth of what’s inside you."

I think that is certainly true. I never want to be mad. When someone wrongs me I have a tendency to want to forgive them immediately and for sure never hold a grudge. I think that might be making me pissy and of course I don't want to do that either. 

I spent the whole of my ride to work this morning saying into my Instagram stories some things I think but hold back from saying. Well, I say it to the people I'm close to but as far as public, I just let it go. I am a very outspoken person when it comes to the treatment of others but when it's me I'll just get over it. 

This morning I got pissed that no matter what women do in the world they are never treated equal. Men don't get it because they've always had a say. I'm fuckin' tired of seeing women treated like they are less than. I'm fuckin' tired of women being shut down when they try to speak (example: The great "she persisted" Elizabeth Warren & wonderfully"hysterical" Kamala HarrisWe are equal. If you can't see that then you have a complex. It shouldn't hurt your feelings to have to share. That means you are weak. 

I am so lucky to have Bryan because he gets equality in the sweetest of ways. He is so beautiful. 

Then this weekend someone told me that someone I used to date told someone (on facebook) who is a lesbian that she and others like her are going to hell. Come on. This dude is, without a doubt, the worst person I've ever had to share time and air with. He doesn't need to tell anyone anything. Don't you just love people who tell people they are going to hell and do not get what is wrong with that? It totally escapes them. Like I said on Instagram, he probably thinks he won the debate this created. He isn't bright enough to know why he didn't. I could tell you so many stories of how he is the worst person I know but it wouldn't help anything. I already spoke some of it into the air on my stories and in 24 hours it will disappear but I will know that, even if it's gone, I said it. I said it out loud. I owned my anger.

I think I do feel better. 

Thursday, June 15, 2017


If you are here reading this blog do you also follow me on Instagram? Cause if you do and you watch my stories then you've probably heard me say things not fit for work or baby ears. I just want to tell you that this is not likely to change and I'll tell ya why.

Words, freaking words! That is all they are. They are all made up of letters and sounds when spoken and moving those sounds and letters around have no effect on how you perceive them. We all get to make the choice about how we react to words. We have been taught how to react to words but you don't have to follow what you have been taught. If your mama taught you Mickey Mouse was a ugly word you'd react the same way you do when someone says fuck. So really fuck is just like Mickey Mouse in that scenario and that makes it seem silly to react negatively to the word fuck when you hear it. Mickey Mouse doesn't bother you cause no one said that was bad.

Why do I say fuck?

I say fuck because when I choose to use it, it's normally because I'm driving home a point and it is the hammer that sinks it into your brain. Fuck is my hammer and when I use it you can bet I am passionate about what I'm throwin' down.

So there you have it and now for this important message:

Disclaimer: If you watch my instagram stories keep your sound down if you are at work or in a place you don't want people to know you are listening to someone who likes to say fuck cause I'm gonna be sayin' it.

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

This is my home studio - Hello Soul

Okay so I lived with my parents. Got married. Had a baby. Got Divorced. Had another baby. Married again 14 years after the first time. I have pretty much been someone's something all my life and because of this I have shared every space I've every been in. If that doesn't afford me a space of my own after 50 years I don't know what does. This is my space and it makes me feel like a tall glass of wine, like sunshine, and a soft little breeze. It's something I highly recommend to all the mama's in the world.

Friday, May 19, 2017

a different fuckery

We have got ourselves into a sad state of affairs. It didn't happen with the current president but he sure has amplified it.

I am a democrat and a liberal and I come at this whole thing from that perspective. So I'll use one of my guys to try to explain.

I remember when Al Gore ran for president the last time in 2000. I listened to him campaign in agony. I knew I was going to vote for him but the way he spoke felt like he was too hyper aware of how he would come off.  Instead of being himself and bringing his real message, you could tell he wanted to be seen a certain way and not piss off the wrong people. Like most politicians today his message was whatever he thought would get him elected. The only bigger letdown I'd met from my chosen party at that time was when Bill Clinton announced he was not a liberal when he obviously was/is. Bill Clinton got a BJ in the White House. Dude was liberal. It killed me when these guys pretended they weren't for marriage equality when we all knew they were. Friggin Obama didn't even get on board with marriage equality until it was more accepted. And yes, I love Obama but the truth is still the truth.

Even though Gore ended up winning the popular vote I could tell he wasn't connecting during the election. So, I emailed his staff to beg them to ask him to talk like a real person. Of course there was more to the email than that. I knew it was a long shot but I was truly worried he was blowing it and I wanted to help.

Cut to 17 years later and nothing has changed unless you count Bernie Sanders. Bernie blows me away. When I heard him speak I knew he didn't need an email from me telling him to be a real person. Hearing him was the first time I felt like I was hearing a politician say what they really felt and not what they thought would get them elected.

It's not the old white man's world anymore where people cannot seem to allow others to be who they are. It ain't gonna work on this new generation. They don't want people who hide behind big money and popular policies. That is why they loved Bernie. Bernie may be a 75 year old, old white man but he's cut from new cloth and we ain't seen this type cloth before.

I have always been a person that tries to do the right thing even if it gets me in hot water. I'm not going to profess to be something I am not and I can't be bought off in any way. There aren't a lot of people like that. Believe me I know and I know people like me when I see one. Most people are afraid to make waves or to not fit in. I don't have those fears. I'm not saying my way is the way to be. There are a lot of ways that being like me can hurt ya. Fitting in can carry you much further. I just don't care to go further if I have to be anything that I'm not.

For whatever reason (cough religion) our country has become a place where people think you should act and live only one way. Even when folks don't live that way they try to make you think they do. They must fit in. Not sure if our current political climate grew out of a country of people afraid of not fitting in or if  a country of whose politicians, play at being what you think they should be, grew the country as it is. Did the people grow US politics or did US politics grow the people. It's the chicken and egg thing. Either way, one of these things is going to have to change. We are going to have to wake up, stop pretending shit and stop being afraid to be real. When one side wakes up it will wake up the other. There should not be one Bernie Sanders in a field of Paul Ryan's.

We live a life to fit in. We expect everyone to live in a way they fit in. I know this is much more complex than I have stated. The possibility of being a person at all and then being the person with our unique traits is so small. So many eggs, so much sperm, so many parents, so many communities, so many countries and for whatever reason, we become a person with no copy out of those gazillion possibilities. No matter how special that makes us in this world, where no one is like us, all we care about is fitting in. We don't think about how we are different and one of a kind. We had rather make sure we are like everyone else. Fitting in becomes our goal. And not just the goal we set for ourselves, we want everyone to fit that same mold. Goodness forbid anyone become the exact person they were born to be.

Forget all the other fuckery in the world. This is the conversation we should be having. 

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

fighting the rich man's battle

a pretty picture to go with the ugly truth

We send our boys off to war with a glint in their eye as they walk away to fight for America. They return too often with the fire burnt out and the inability to function again in society. They return and find it necessary to use mind altering means to get through their day. Not all of them are affected the same way but too many of them end up on the street without a home or enough care to give them back even half of what they lost. The glint, gone for good and then they are discarded like all they did meant nothing.

No one ever tells these young men the real reason they are being sent to fight. They just give them a bunch of rah rah America bullshit to get them amped up and that's really all it takes. It's generation after generation of handing down these lies and hardly anyone sees the real truth. Even if you see it it's almost impossible to live with killing innocent people for the lie so you have to push it down and tell yourself you did it for the right reason.

Why do we fight? We fight for the rich man to keep his slaves. We fight for the rich man's oil. We fight for the rich man's land. We fight for the rich man's military industrial complex because without war there'd be no money made by selling the supplies of war. No war/no money in the rich man's pocket. We fight and we fight and we fight for the rich man to stay rich.

Ever wonder how terrorist make money? How do they operate? Kickstarter? Collection plate? Who do ya think pays them?

These terrorist organizations are guns for hire and just like America they find innocent young men and make them believe they are fighting for a cause and they teach them to give up their lives for religion while these people profit off their innocence. And then every once in a while some young man/men will get all gung ho and decided to contribute to the cause by committing an act of terrorism on America soil and of course these organizations can't wait to take credit for the freebee.

Ever wonder if the countries we invade for oil think that we are terrorists? If you don't see us that way it could be because of the xenophobic/ethnocentric lens we use in America to see the rest of the world. America first is our psychological motto even when it doesn't have to be us or them. These people are living, thinking, feeling, breathing beings, as are we.

So terrorism=war machine=money and whether here or abroad, everyone is onboard and more than happy to do their part. Rich man gets richer and all is well and we get to keep waving the flag and telling ourselves that this is what it's all about.

How long are we going to keep falling for this?
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