Saturday, May 31, 2014

Adventures in Eating

Years ago B bought a book called Adventures in Cheap Eating : Nashville and Middle Tennessee. For a long time it was our food bible. We tried for years to check off as many different spots from the book as we could until the book just got outdated with businesses that had closed. Over the time we were on our adventure in cheap eating it changed the way we viewed eating out especially when we are away from home. It has become our mission to try all of mom and pop noncommercial places that you might not know about unless you were a local. A lot of things have changed since we started with the book years ago. We no longer have to look up the directions on mapquest and print them out before we leave. We no longer need the book. Having an iPhone and apps like Yelp and Urban Spoon makes it so much easier. We don't even have to know where we are eating before we leave home. You know you can eat at Applebee's or Chili's any time you want. It's nice to get to try new things whenever you have a chance.

Friday, May 30, 2014

Blue Apron

Have you heard about Blue Apron? I read about this company on Bleubird and I knew I wanted to give it a try. We got our first box of dinners this afternoon and we made the meatball subs with red leaf salad. We both enjoyed it and had fun preparing it together. I thought giving this idea a try would be good for us to get us out of a rut and to help us to try cooking new things as well as try new recipes. I don't know how long we will get the deliveries but we are so excited about preplanned meals, complete with premeasured ingredient, coming to our house every week . We just have to add a little love and muscle and we've got a meal.

Thursday, May 29, 2014


Sitting here looking at the blinking of my cursor on what was a blank screen, I had not anticipated how completely blank my mind would go trying to pull out the words that would begin this post. I soon realized that the only way to start was to just admit how difficult it is to have this conversation.

What happens to one over the course of a lifetime, long or short, that pits them against the rest of the world? We don't have answers. If we had even a fraction of an answer we'd all take to the streets trying to end this ever lengthening history of mass violence. We cannot seem to fix this. Right now there is a broken child somewhere hurting so bad that they only want to make others feel the pain they are feeling. They have made or will make a plan of literal execution and we will hear the tale on breaking news in every outlet possible and another child will see the story and think it is also their way out.

Is there any way that we could turn attention to making sure that all children know the signs of a person in this kind of trouble? There is no way that this can be taught enough. Children need a solid game plan for reporting and we need to make sure we've built a foundation of confidence so that they know their reporting will be held confidential and will be followed up on.

What can we do for those hurting souls that commit this violence before they get to the point of violence? Could the multiple outlets that always report these terrible incidents after the fact share information for finding help as well as produce shows that tell the story of people who've gotten help? They could also find a way to let these young people know that being young and having little life experience can be painful but if they can hang in there things get better with time. We can never educate our youth enough with regard to this.

Talk to your children. Ask them how their life is going. Ask them if they are happy. Ask them if they need your help. Be honest with your children. Don't hold yourself up as a model of perfection so that you might teach them to be something that you are not. It will not work. It will only make them feel like they will never live up to what you expect of them. Let your children be who they are. Honor that in them. Don't judge or belittle the feelings of your children. These are their feelings, let them feel them.

Note to 2nd Amendment Enthusiast:
I don't care if you have a gun. I don't want anyone to show up at your door and take your gun away. What I want is for you admit that maybe you have let the politicians you put your confidence in use the love you have for your gun to sidetrack you from looking at real issues. You had 8 years of Bill Clinton and will have 8 years of Barack Obama and at the end of the day no one has taken your gun away or even suggested that it be done. If you think there has been talk of it then you have been misled.

"As people do better, they start voting like Republicans...unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing."

-Karl Rove The New Yorker (February 19, 2001)

Think about a republican who would say that. He is essentially saying the Republican party relies on ignorance. They want you to be easy to mislead.

I will tell you this. I will admit that I allow myself to follow Democratic leaders based on the promise that they will be the party of equality. I have seen year after year that promises are made that are never kept and I still follow that hope. Political smokescreens are everywhere we look on all sides of the fence. I can admit I fall for it. Can't you say the same?

Are we suggesting that a person be allowed to walk into McDonald's with their semiautomatic weapon strapped to their back and order a Big Mac? Have you really thought about the effect of anyone being able to carry a weapon anywhere they want to go? You cannot assume that every gun owner is as responsible as you are. If everyone is walking around carrying a gun like the wild wild west how will we ever know when we should look out for danger?

If we make it a little harder for people to buy new guns, how terrible would it be if you had to wait just a tiny bit longer? You surely cannot say that a tiny wait is not worth a life. Please don't tell me that.

Note to any young person who needs an ear or a shoulder to lean on:
If you are feeling desperate I will be there for you. If you need holding up I will be your wall. If you need love I have love to give.

If you need help there are people there to help you. Your life may be bad at this moment but it can get better. Let someone with more experience show you the way. There is always a way out of your pain that is beneficial for all involved. You are not alone, if you can find the strength to ask for help. You can have the happy future you want. Please remember you always have a split second where you still have 2 options. You can turn away from harm and still have a wonderful life or you can make a decision that you will never be able to take back. If you cross that line where you can never go back, I feel most certain it will be an instance of immediate regret. Please let that second be the longest of your life. Let this second keep you on the side that does not end in violence because that next second after will mean you have left your world open for a bright shiny future where all possibility exists. Peace to you.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014


I really didn't mean to lie. I was going to have posts ready for my vacation absence but getting packed, a family gathering to celebrate my great-nephews 1st birthday and tying up loose ends at work took more time than I anticipated. I have a list going of post I've got planned. One involves my thoughts on the endless plague of gun violence. In recent years I've tried to stay away from talking about these things but I'm feeling more and more like I really need to speak the words that keep forming on the corners of my thoughts and on the tip of my tongue to stop their swirling inside of me. But... there are good things and we'll get to those too. Good day my friends.

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

okay people

I'm at the beach right now. Well, technically I'm not. I wrote this post on Wednesday 5-14 but you are reading it while I am here. It's been a really long time since I had a whole entire week off of work. Actually I think it has only happened once before in my adult life. I am going to enjoy this. I even left my work phone at the office for someone else to answer.

I know I'm gonna have to do a post about the trip when I get back because it is going to be amazing.

I worked hard before leaving to have plenty of post ready for the entire time I am gone. I'm trying to win you back so I'm not taking a chance on leaving you hanging for a week.

Here I am at the beach with B in 2011. Man, 3 years can do a lot to a 40 something person. We shall compare once I return.

Monday, May 19, 2014

have ya seen this...

I am so crazy about that video. He might be the best example of a person who has found his calling. Noone has ever made a hat look that good. When I saw this video I wanted to take my life savings and fly to Cali to purchase a Nick Fouquet hat. Luckily I had B there to bring me back to reality. He said, "he'd make a turd earring look good." He said if he made and wore turd earrings everyone would probably want a set.

I must admit that even a fabulous hat made by Nick Fouquet would never make me look as cool as he does. Really! Who can walk down the street wearing a top hat and make you think that it looks like everyday wear? He can. That's who.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

health and your choices

I may or may not have an irrational fear of traditional medicine. Well, I do have a fear of traditional medicine. The question is, is it irrational or not? I say no.

Have you noticed all the commercials for medications that give you a long list of ways the med will eventually kill you? It is sad when so many people take these medications thinking their MD wouldn't prescribe these if the risk was as great as the warnings in the commercials. I'm not sure they know that doctors get kickbacks for making pharmaceutical companies rich. It also blows my mind how and MD can prescribe a 2 page list of medications to a patient. There is no possible way that they could know the risk involved in combining that many medications in one day. It is incalculable. If there is a way to calculate then we wouldn't see commercials from lawyers trying to line their pockets with money made from the damage these medications are later found to cause.

I am not a doctor nor do I have any sort of medical training but I can tell you this, if you have one finger, a keyboard and an internet connection you can search your way into the knowledge that natural medicine is no more quackery than that which is prescribed by a person with an MD after their name, willing to risk your health to make a buck.

I know that not all doctors are in the business of making money. I know that there are doctors in the world who care. I also know that there could come a time when I have no choice but to submit myself to the care of a medical doctor but when I do I won't go in unarmed and leave myself to only their mercy. 

I felt compelled to share this message for the simple fact that I want you to know that you have choices and you have so much information at your finger tips if you will just explore before giving your choices totally way.

Here is a list of books that have changed the way I feel about Modern Medicine. I love  Lissa Rankin - Mind Over Medicine, Anita Moorjani - Dying to Be Me, Nick Ortner - The Tapping Solution and Deepak - Chopra's Quantum Healing. Here are a few videos that might interest you if self healing has ever been of interest to you.

Please don't exchange my thoughts on this subject for how you feel about your own medical care. Make your own choices and be informed.

Saturday, May 17, 2014


One of the biggest lessons I have learned in life is to get out of my own way. What I keep learning over and over is how it applies to every situation. You know the saying, "no matter where you go, there you are." There is no way to change that. You can't see the world through someone else's eyes. You can't change how someone else will experience an event. You are in total control of how you experience life everyday. If you don't believe that you are giving away your power.

It is so easy to blame others when things don't go well for us but they are not controlling our end of the experience, we are. We can walk away. We can choose to ignore. We can choose to be happy. We  can choose to own our part in every situation.

Let's play a little game. Go back in time and remember a time when you saw someone post something on Facebook that they tried to make appear to just be a general message to all but you knew it was probably specific to a person. Now think about how often you've seen them make posts like that over and over. There's no way everyone doesn't see through that. You probably thought to yourself, "No matter how you play it everyone knows you're mad at someone and you're dragging us all in it and this seems to happen to you all the time." You probably thought, "how can you always be the victim in every situation?"So, you can see it looking at someone else that "no matter where you go, there you are" applies here but maybe it's not so easy to see when it is you who needs to hear that.

Now a not so obvious thing might be something like never having any fun. Fun is out there, it's in here, it's everywhere. Maybe you aren't having fun and that is on you. Well, it is on you. Think about the role you play in this and do it another way. Read the paper for local activities. Go to the park. Take a walk and pay attention to your surroundings. Stop looking for fun in things and start looking at how you see the things you look to for fun. Hope that makes sense.

If you are like I was and maybe you think the job you are in is not the one for you. And, maybe like me you can determine to stop trying to fill a picture frame with a previous imagined photo and let the current photo take over that frame. Stop brooding for what's not there and enjoy what is.

All of the time and energy you spend wishing things away and/or into being could be better spent finding away to be happy in the now, with whatever the NOW is. You know you'll still be there at the next destination (even when you receive what you really want and even when it never comes) because not matter where you go, there you are. You can't change that.

Friday, May 16, 2014

lurve it up

I know that there are people who never give thought to the path they are following. They let the people they surround themselves with dictate their belief system as well as their likes and dislikes. Sometimes I envy people like that, people who find it easy to put no effort into their being. I cannot tell you they are wrong. Like Thomas Gray says "ignorance is bliss." Not that I am calling anyone ignorant. I just know sometimes it is easier not knowing a thing than knowing it. I can totally get behind that.This is not to say I won't draw a line and when I do, I'll probably just walk away and turn the other cheek like the bible says. Sometimes I'll be vocal with my thoughts but most of the time I realize I cannot change a person and fighting against an act just reenforces the actions/thoughts of that person. It only makes them cling harder. The best way to counteract is to just let your actions tell who you are. You might not win anyone over but at least you will not push them farther away.

My line always starts where bigotry, hate and intolerance is found. If my actions can ever show anyone that it is better to live, let and love than to die intolerant and hateful then I'll be happy to keep my mouth shut about all of it. I feel safe in saying if you stare down the nose of someone who causes you to hate or think that they don't deserve the same rights as others, you might be looking at them through the eyes from which you judge yourself in the same way.

If you ain't lovin' folks as equal then you are hatin' your own self and you are projecting that on them so that you can feel safe again. That is so painful to think. Just imagine all of the people who raise their arms towards hate and fear are only reacting to how they feel about who they are. If you can see it that way you will realize how much sorrow they inflict on their own self. Showing our disdain will not make them more loving. Only love can conquer hate and fear.

The best course of action is to conjure up a big old mental lightening bolt of love and send it their way. I know that is easier said than done. No matter how hard it is, you have to send them love. If enough people do this enough times it will change the climate of hate. Now that is some climate change we could all use.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

Let's All Go Under Water and Say LaDonna

I once told B that I was going to find a way to make that a blog title and so now it is. My husband and his friends all had a crush on a girl named LaDonna. I think a couple of them might have also went out with her. He told me that they were swimming one time and one of the guys said, "Let's all go under water and say LaDonna." I love that story.

I wonder how many times in our lives we've been someone's LaDonna and didn't know it. I'm sure even LaDonna might not have been aware of the hold she had over these boys hearts years ago. My point, and I will make it brief, is how often we look for love and overlook the most obvious of places.

I love what Mike Rowe said on the subject of seeking a mate:

I had drinks last night with a woman I know. Let’s call her Claire. Claire just turned 42. She’s cute, smart, and successful. She’s frustrated though, because she can’t find a man. I listened all evening about how difficult her search has been. About how all the “good ones” were taken. About how her other friends had found their soul-mates, and how it wasn’t fair that she had not.

“Look at me,” she said. “I take care of myself. I’ve put myself out there. Why is this so hard?”
“How about that guy at the end of the bar,” I said. “He keeps looking at you.”
“Not my type.”
“Really? How do you know?”
“I just know.”
“Have you tried a dating site?” I asked.”
“Are you kidding? I would never date someone I met online!”
“Alright. How about a change of scene? Your company has offices all over – maybe try living in another city?”
“What? Leave San Francisco? Never!”
“How about the other side of town? You know, mix it up a little. Visit different places. New museums, new bars, new theaters…?”
She looked at me like I had two heads. “Why the hell would I do that?”

Here’s the thing. Claire doesn’t really want a man. She wants the “right” man. She wants a soul-mate. Specifically, a soul-mate from her zip code. She assembled this guy in her mind years ago, and now, dammit, she’s tired of waiting!!

I didn’t tell her this, because Claire has the capacity for sudden violence. But it’s true. She complains about being alone, even though her rules have more or less guaranteed she’ll stay that way. She has built a wall between herself and her goal. A wall made of conditions and expectations.
My point in sharing this with you  is to suggest that you not overlook that person who has been there all the time and already loves you because they don't fit in the frame that holds that picture you have in your mind of exactly what you determined years ago would be the way life would look. Maybe the picture you've imagined is not as good as what you could have if you let it go.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Hiatus part II

During my search for peace in the way I feel about my job, I somehow stumbled across Martha Beck's book, Finding Your Way in a Wild New World: Reclaim Your True Nature to Create the Life You Want. I spent weeks listening to it on Audible every time I got into my car. I'd have to re-write the book in this blog post to tell you all I got from it. I'll just stick to the one thing that was a huge clicking factor in what I was going through at the time.

Have you heard about the idea of it taking 10,000 hours of practice to be a master? Martha used this idea in the book. It became my clicking factor. She said that you have probably already spent 10,000 hours at the task that is your life's calling. She asks you to think about what that might be for you. That was so easy for me. I have easily spent 10,000 hours towards the task of trying to get people to love themselves exactly as they were the day they were born, before life taught them to be something else. I have easily spent 10,000 hours being a mother, which if you think on it is the same thing as the first thing I listed. So add that together and I've probably spent 20,000 hours trying to mother others to happiness.

Once I figured this all out I realized that I've been living my life's calling. I think my problem was that I thought it would be on a grander scale. Martha taught me that the picture I had in my mind about how following my calling would look was holding me back from realizing I was already there. I felt like if I wasn't reaching a large audience then I was on the wrong track. The thing is, I can help 2 people or 200,000 people and it doesn't matter. The number is irrelevant. As long as I do anything to feed the fire in me that drives me to want others to be happy, I'm on the path.

Since finding Eva Marquez I've also started a course in Chios Energy Healing. I'm really enjoying practicing but B probably loves it even more. I can put him to sleep in about 2 minutes with no effort at all and he gets the best naps. He gets all excited if I approach him to do a session.

I am approaching the world these days like a child living each day to the fullest. I can go home at night and not give work a second thought, where before, it was keeping me awake at night. Life is good.

Tuesday, May 13, 2014

my hiatus

I put the blog up for a while to regroup and possibly give it up for good. I'm not good a promoting myself. So, my blog has not had a lot of followers since this last incarnation as SoulPony. It started me wondering if my message lacked what it needed to get people interested. I felt like maybe I should stop being a teacher and start being a student for a while.

My day job changed last year and that had also left me feeling like I didn't know where I belonged. I was telling anyone who'd give me an ear how badly I wanted to make changes to the way I make money. I have been very lucky in life. I have the sweetest partner in life a person could have. I have two beautiful son's. I live in the most amazing place, that allows me to just almost walkout my door and be doing the things I crave most in life. The thing I could never get right was work. I've never been completely happy with any job. I've worked at jobs I liked and with people I really liked. Never really worked anywhere that I couldn't find something to be happy about. The thing was that I felt like I wasn't working towards my soul's calling. All of this is why I decided it was time to shut the blog down until I figured it all out or maybe shut it down for good.

Here's what's happened since that time. I sat in on a distance healing call with Eva Marquez and gosh it's been a while back and I cannot completely remember all the exact details. Anyway she gave an amount of time that she said we might be feeling the effects of the energy attunement and almost exactly to the last second of the amount of time she said I had a full blown allergy attack like I'd not had in a while. I wasn't around anything that usually triggers an attack like I was having. My throat closed on one side my sinuses on the other side and I was itching and barely able to breath. I couldn't be still, I was so uncomfortable. The next day I started thinking how it happened just moments before the time frame she'd given was about to end and how it had seemed to come from nowhere. I sent her a message asking her if she thought it might be related. She told me to think back to the first time I could remember having problems breathing and try to remember what might have triggered it. I knew exactly what that was. She related it to the fight or flight feeling I have when I'm under stress. She asked me if she could call me after work and to see if she could help. She was very intuitive about so much but she didn't really say what I wanted her to say. Her thought was that the feelings I have about my job had brought about the attack. I really wanted her to say that it was proof I wasn't doing what I was meant to do but she didn't. She told me that she had a feeling that I might actually like my job and that the problem was that I was absorbing other's energy. She walked me through my whole life in the phone call and she suggested that I get a tiger's eye to shield me from bad energy. I have one by my bed, one on my desk at work and I also have a tiger's eye bracelet that I wear several times a week. I don't know if I particularly believe in the whole thing but I like looking at them and the reminder they give me of the help Eva has given to me. Before my call was through Eva had me to gather all of the people who love me and who have hurt me on to a playground and to see them as children. She had me visualize us all playing together. That was mind altering to me. I told her it was total genius. Imagine everyone you've ever know stripped of what life has done to them and taught them, all playing together as equals. 

So, time passed and I wasn't totally on board with Eva's thoughts on the whole work thing but over time I was able to see how correct her intuition turned out to be. When people talk to me from a metaphysical aspect it leaves me wanting to dissect the thing down to less magical ideas. Using her words and thinking about absorbing other's energy made me think about something mystical that I had no way of processing.

When the allergy attack happened I had 1) participated in the attunement call 2) talked to other people who do the same job as me in other offices that were having really bad experiences and 3) had employees who where spreading gossip about each other to maneuver themselves into better schedules. Everyday I went to work I wished for a way out. Then comes Eva and the tiger's eye. No matter how I look back at it, through the eyes of a mystic or through the eyes of science I see that I did absorb other's energy. I allowed how the other office managers saw the way their office ran and how they felt about it to impact how I felt and saw my office and coverage area. Talking to them got me to thinking that maybe I was missing something if my office was running so smooth. Then I let the workers in the field get to me with there talking bad about one another instead of trying to put a stop to it. 

The big thing I relearned from this experience was to not try to control other people. It's really plain and simple for me now that I'm on the other side. I do the best I can do to make sure everything goes as it should, I cannot control what everyone does who works for this company. What I can do is try to stay on top of what is going on to the best of my ability and if I find someone is doing something they shouldn't then I make sure to follow the procedures put in place. I had started preemptively worrying about things before they had a chance to even happen. I used to be good at not feeling like I had to control others but I lost sight of that when I started allowing others to influence how I felt about my job and the people I work with by listening to how they felt about their job and the people they work with.  It's not anyone's fault. It's just something I needed a reminder about that one big old allergy attack brought on.

There is more to this story but I know I've written probably more than anyone could want to read here and will save more of this for another day.

Monday, May 12, 2014


This post is so powerful.

Make sure to go over and read the post. It may be my a favorite blog post by anyone of all times.

Friday, May 9, 2014


she's back.

It has been forever. I've been thinking about you dear blog, just sitting here full of potential but being taken for granted. Let us try again. I can't promise anything but I'll try my best.