The Path to Self

I want to blow through this topic and make it a super fun and easy read because I think it is so important and something we never talk about. I am not sure how low key I can make it, but I am ready to tackle it.

As many of you know, I do not subscribe to the Christian tradition when it comes to spirituality. I have many reasons that I have talked about before and it's all here on the blog if you are interested. That is not what this post is about. I wanted to make a video instead so that you would not have to read it but after starting and stopping a couple times and realizing all I was saying was um and clicking my tongue against the roof of my mouth, I did not think I could pull it off. So, this is what you get.

I am just now beginning to realize how little grace I extend to people who have not been able to find their way to the other side of believing and then not. Looking back now, it has felt like weakness to me. It did not feel weak to me when I was doing it myself. I felt like I climbed the K2 and lived to talk about it and yes, I Googled to see what mountain was hardest to climb. It was not just that it was a hard climb, going back down the other side without any support was the hardest part. You can lose everything. For me I did not even lose much other than I was now without that thing that ruled my life, and I did not know what the rules were or what to attach or not attach to after I made it safely back down. I understand that for others there is much more involved. The whole family thing is probably the one sticking point most people have when they seek truth. I am going to go ahead and tell you that when you start to look and are open, you will easily see how you have been misled but it will not be easy for you to share that with others because it will take them becoming open and able to look through fresh eyes and that is a choice they must make, just like you and most people fear that. The religion teaches you to fear that because if it did not you would have left it long ago.

Is it okay to hold on to a bit of Christianity once you are out? Yes, you can believe what you want. You always could. The part you let go of is the part that keeps you trapped into thinking you can never be worthy or that some part of you is unlovable, sinful, and irredeemable.  This is the thing I wanted to really drive home here. It is hard. You are not weak if you keep straddling the fence. To pull that last leg over will take every ounce of strength you have in you. I remember it so well when I went through it and the fence analogy was what helped me. I told myself that nothing changes until I can pull that other leg across even if I drag it. Oh, and I did drag it. It was so hard to imagine what life would be like if I let go completely and just trusted. I knew for myself that redemption was all the way on the other side and maybe it is not that way for everyone. For me, I knew I could not love and accept myself through the lens of the church and its followers. And then one day I made the decision, I crossed entirely over, and I have not looked back nor will I. You try to shove that baby chick back into its broken shell once it sees the world. It cannot be done.

If you really want to know the pain that Christianity causes look no further than the state of America. Many of these people follow so blindly that they put the last president in office and fought so hard to keep him there all the while believing he was the chosen one. They were able to look passed every ugly thing he ever did and stamp him God approved. They do it every Sunday to some of the most hate filled teachings in the breathing living world without ever questioning, so it was not a hard transition.

I promise you there is 20/20 vision over here, but you must be willing to lose everything to find it. If you read this post without fearing for your own soul, then you may have a chance.

Today I declare that I will not judge those who stay put. I know it is hard. I am not denying it in any way anymore. If you ever want to talk, I am here and I promise not to judge. So, that is really where this was going the whole time. I just did not know it and there is grace there too.


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