where'd she come from, stubborn teen

In seventh grade I started to notice that other girls had boyfriends. I wanted one but had no idea how to get one. I didn't even understand how coupling worked. I did not think that boys even noticed me. So, seventh grade went on and I did not figure it out the whole year.

In 8th grade Mom let me go on a date with Dale W and I think we were both scared to death. I know I was. I was so happy he never tried to kiss me and the next weekend when he came to pick me up I wouldn't go. I decided for myself that I was too young to car date after so many of my friends were just shocked that mom let me go at only 13. I decided not to date again until I was in high school.

So next, Mike R asked me to meet him at the movies. I had no plan for anything but watching the movie because I was not ready to kiss. I'd went over it and over it in my head and I could not figure out french kissing. It worried me terribly. If I did the wrong thing with my tongue he'd know I'd never been kissed and then I'd just die. What happened inside the two mouths? Did you just stack up your tongues and let them lay there and if you did was there an order? Did the girl's tongue go on the top of the stack or was that his place? So, if there wasn't the stacking thing then what else? Would we be moving our tongues around each other in circles and if we did, was there a specific direction or would we go one way and then switch at some point. I was just too stubborn to admit that I didn't know and too stubborn to ask a friend.

Well, he slipped one on me and then I was like wow, there's really nothing to know. I was excited at the thought that I really couldn't mess this thing up. I was also so glad that he knew we didn't have to stack or do circles.

Mike R really just didn't do it for me and then came Tim M. He was the guy who said when he talked about me to his friends that one asked, "is she the one with the cute butt?" That blew my mind that any guy would actually be thinking about me or my butt.

So that started the string. I went on a date almost every weekend in high school. One summer my friends stopped speaking to me over it. I'd have given anything to spend my weekends with them if I'd had any idea how to be around girls. I'd only had 4 friends that were girls up to that point. The only folks that I was around were my brothers, my much younger sister and the only kids my age in the neighborhood were boys. I just didn't get girls. So I dated.

I was so stubborn about being little miss perfect. I tried hard to make the boys keep their hands to themselves. Sometimes they'd wander and I'd just remove them and put them back where they belonged. I did not say "bad words." I never lied. In fact I didn't even know you could lie until 8th grade when Beth got her mom to take us to the Classic Theater to see Times Square. She told her mom that she would have to give her okay for us to go by ourselves, when really she had to tell them it was okay because it was rated R. She warned me beforehand not to bring up the rating and I did't understand why. Her mom just rolled down the window and waved and yelled to the ticket person, "it's okay" and away she drove. I remember standing there in awe and thinking about how Beth just did that. I'd never have thought to make something like that up. I always told the truth. Lying really never ever occurred to me. My mom always said I'd take a spanking before I would lie.

Okay, so I dated a lot. Because I dated a lot, people talked. I don't think anyone couldn't believe that many people would date me unless I was putting out. I was just super sure of my stubborn little ass and I guess guys liked that. I always found something wrong with them or because they didn't get what they wanted they moved on. So, next weekend there'd be another one.

I was a virgin until the night I turned 18. I graduated high school in May 1984 and that next October I turned 18 and I decided it was time. It was not with a boyfriend. It was just a random person. Once that happened it changed everything and it was on then.

Stay tuned...