perspective

I’ve been taking an online class with a large group of individuals and reading everyone’s journal notes on Facebook has brought my attention to how important it is to try to understand perspective. Why did they want to tell this story? Why are some people moved by it an other’s not? Why can one comment feel like judgement to some and to others seem like tenderness? Understanding how vastly different our needs can be and how our different experiences shaped our perspectives so widely, is the beginning to shifting trauma. Sometimes the sweetest comments can be taken as a slight simply because you might be seeing it with the mindset that you are being judged or faulted. An innocent smile can feel like you are being laughed at. When these things happen, you can leave the other person feeling like they did something wrong, even when they were innocent and now you both feel wrong. Sometimes you need the how’s and why’s spelled out for you just so you know how a situation arrived in the direction it went. That is when you see the innocence and understand that your past traumas (no matter the size) may have influenced how you saw the incident go down. Sometimes before you pull away all hurt without asking for answers, maybe ask for them. Tell your truth and let others know when you are feeling insecure and give them the chance to walk in this valley with you. There is sunshine on the other side. Say, “I feel like I may have read something into this that is not there” or “I may be misinterpreting your intentions, can you walk me through how this went down?”. It is okay to do that. Sometimes we all need clarification and a little extra love. People who matter in your life won’t care to do this for you. If you do this, next time you may find you have had a shift in perspective and had a breakthrough.