You Don't Need Neo, You Can Be Your Own Effin' Neo

I remember watching The Matrix the very first time. I knew that story symbolically so well I could have written it. I had already begun seeing the "code" and I felt like I was Neo. I know that sounds so lofty, I ain't no fool to that but it is how I felt. I'd been a part of that world that embraced every idea of how to be a good little girl, wife and mother. I'd also got sick of being the idea of that and I shatter my place in it all and then I lived to see the other side. I felt like I was a much better person after I stopped trying to be one. I was real. I was authentic. I wasn't looking over my shoulder thinking someone would figure out that I'd played at something I wasn't. I also didn't worry what they'd think of the change. I didn't care. That was their thing and this was mine.

A few weeks back I was listening to Oprah's SuperSoul podcast with Iyanla Vanzant. The two were speaking of the first time they read A Course in Miracles. They recalled how scared they were of what God would think of them reading this book and how he might strike them with lightening before the end of the next day. Oprah said she was so afraid she just wanted to get it out of her house. I remember having the same feelings the first time I entertained that I might have been mislead. I knew without a doubt that I did not know the truth of this world but I was so scared to finally turn my back on everything I'd been taught. This is intentional in the teachings. It is a genius act to set up a system to control people and then set up within that system that you cannot question it without sacrificing your soul. Even Oprah, a lady who has had access to every well known guru of this century, was too afraid to have a book in her house that questioned the old belief system she grew up in. Genius. It's effin' genius. This country could not be more ensnared in this trap if they tried to be.

What do we know? We know exactly what we have been taught. I can count on my hands the people I've know in my life that have the strength to open their eyes and judge and learn for themselves what the world is. I raised two of them in my house so that doesn't leave a lot of people.

We open our mouths at birth for nourishment at a time when we are unable to resist what is being fed to our fragile bodies and from there on out we keep swallowing it down and never ever judge for ourselves if it truly nourishes us.

We listen to our families and see them respond and that's how we learn the rules. We go to school in a rigid environment where adults who learned about the world the same way we did, tell us the rules and who marginalize our differences and try to get us all to march to the same standards no matter our talents or uniqueness. It's not their fault. It's just part of the system that keeps us enslaved to mediocrity. Our teachers grew up in the same system and so did our parents. And now it's your turn.

Think back to all of the movies and tv shows that you watched growing up. You weren't only taught what the standards are in the system by the people who influenced you growing up, you also saw it all over your tv and now you see it all over the internet. We are enshrined in a system that wants us all to be the same. I can count it back to the first memories I have. I can also count it back to the first tv shows I ever loved.

Leave it to Beaver had the mom happily homemaking in pearls and heels for her family. Gilligan's Island had a clear line drawn down the middle between the abilities of the women and men. Girls bake pies and boys fight off headhunters. Girls are fragile and shallow and men are strong and smart. We watched women try to fend off advances from men only to give in if the man persisted. We also watched them try to fight off men but then give in once the man slapped their face, making it appear that this ignited passion and ultimately change their minds. That has never happened to me and if it did, a slap would only make me want out of the situation more. No wonder men are confused.

And no wonder women are confused. Until later in the last century women had been spoon fed being submissive, with no capacity for scientific or mathematical study, being without basic rights that men have always had and of a gender group that had no real voice in the world. Every idea and method that has been used to hold women down has been reinforced politically, socially, religiously and in a lot of ways, they still are today. It is the reason that even after the current president was heard to talk about women in such a nasty way, many of them still voted for him. In the minds of these women they heard him talk about women in a way that they felt was so common that it set off zero alarms in them. They are used to being marginalized and these women believed the role of being a woman puts them in a place where being spoken of in that sort of way was both expected and normal.

Think back to any show you loved growing up and look for the propaganda used to make you stay in your role. This may not have be intentional but maybe just a mirror held up against how society operates. Think back to anything an adult ever taught you and you will see the effects of this. They taught you what they were taught to believe. At this point no one knows truth. It's why I abhor looking out on a golf course at a bunch of white men wearing polo shirts and Bermuda shorts. Anytime there is a uniform involved in an activity it is from fear. They are afraid of bucking the system. They do not realize they can wear anything they want. The whole idea of a country club is like an institution built on and for the system. To be included in this club is a mark that you have bought all the way into the system. It's a bit of insanity.

There are some of you reading this right now and you are afraid just like Oprah was. It will be okay. If you take one step towards questioning the system, the cogs will start to fall apart, the machine will break down and you will stop buying in. When you see the truth you won't be able to go in reverse and unsee it. So, once the door is open you won't be able to close it back. Entertain every idea no matter how crazy and then you can decide for yourself that maybe it is crazy or maybe it's not at all. Up till now you've believed in some batshit crazy stuff. If you've been able to entertain those ideas your whole life, you can open the door a little wider and study on other things that might just seem crazy right now. You have to make yourself a little uncomfortable for the sake of progressing in life. If you only do what is comfortable you may as well stay on the couch and continue being programmed. If you weren't made to be unique why the hell were you born? If we are only going to be a copy and not an original then we may as well be programmed robots.

To come back to A Course in Miracles, it asked you to give every detail another look and try seeing without the definitions you were given of what a thing is and just try to see what the thing is for yourself. Most people will never think to do this and the suggestion of it scares them to death just like it did Oprah. If so many others can start to see the world through fresh eyes and decide for themselves what is right and wrong then you can too. Your fear is the only thing holding you back. It's sounds crazy to say but it is true. The line that separates you from ignorance is so fine it could be cracked like glass wall. You don't have to even break through the glass wall, just walk up to it for a second and look at what's on the other side.

If this all sounds cuckoo to you and nothing else you've believed up until this post has seemed crazy then you don't know what crazy is. You only know what people tell you crazy is. Since you were born someone has told you what a thing is and now I'm asking you to think and look and learn for yourself what it is.

Everything you think you know is a portrait painted by everything and everyone that has influenced your life. Paint over it and start all over. This time do it your way. Don't believe a single soul when they try to tell you what to paint. Don't even believe me. Just make sure it comes from your soul and not from outside influence.

If you want to be happy and stop feeling like you don't know who you are this is the way. You don't know YOU because the YOU in there got covered up with the camouflage the world gave you to wear so that you would fit in and not make waves. They don't even know when they do it because the code was already written when they arrived and they've lived it their whole lives. That is what is real to them even though it is the opposite of what is real. Don't wait on someone to decipher the code for you so that you can be free. You can be your own effin' Neo.