If your parents were happy go lucky, fly by the seat of the pants and living by no man's rules then you might never learn structure. If they were structured to a fault and could only function by following rules then you might have a hard time learning how to play. This could all be playing out in your life everyday and you could simply have no idea that it is. You cannot know, what you don't know, until you know.
Your account of how the world should be could look very different from mine. Given this, there is no wonder why people are sometimes so intolerant and bigoted. They just cannot know, what they don't, until they do. Sorry I keep saying that but it is so true.
As long as you resist a thing you will never know what it would be like to live with accepting this thing you resist. You cannot know if the thing you resist is beneficial to you unless you accept it and just give it a try. In other words to get to the other side of the mountain you have to climb over or go around the mountain. You'll never get there by just standing there looking at it. The other side of the mountain might be just the thing you have been missing all of your life but you are just to scared because you never saw anyone go from one side of the mountain to the other. It is the same with intolerance and bigotry. Unless you loosen your grip and open your mind to tolerance you will never know if you are wrong about your views. You cannot know, what you do not know, until you know it.
I can tell you one thing I know for sure that you will never be able to disprove. That is, that treating every person living as your equal is the only thing that will ever truly make you happy. You can try to argue against this but until you have made the effort to know this, you will never know if you are right. Once you make the effort you will see the truth in this and you'll never be able to unsee it again. If it's not love then it's fear. That is all there is to it.
So maybe you got a pile of shit handed down to you. You don't have to sit with it. Think about whether the people around you know something that you don't simply because no one prepared you. Maybe they know that sitting with a nasty pile of shit is not what is preferred and they are all walking around shiny and smelling fabulous. You are still sitting there with your pile of shit because sitting with a pile of shit is all you ever knew. Stand up and toss that shit and figure out what the next step is. There is a whole world out there waiting for you. You've learned to walk before, you can do this. You learned to talk before, you can do this. You learned to live this long, you can do this. You cannot know, what you do not know, until you know it. If it's not love then it's fear and you need to stop being a chicken shit.