F*ck This Post

I wrote this post 2 other times and posted both of them long enough to regret it and then I saved them back to draft mode. This is attempt number 3 where I blame everyone else a lot less. 

Don't we secretly want our own little utopia where everyone agrees with us, pats us on the back and praises us for being the most ingenious, beautiful and special being in all the universe that includes earth? There they write musicals about us and hold parades in honor of our brilliance. No, you say. Me either. Whatever. But then aren't we all just full of shit. The problem with utopia is that it never fuckin' works. You wouldn't need a utopia if you didn't need everyone to agree with you. If they all agreed with you then they'd agree that they need everyone to agree with them. Once one person isn't in agreement over one sorry little thing then they will try to gather a team of people who agree that you are wrong about that one sorry little thing and then your utopia is blown to hell and chaos ensues. May as well be back in the real world with everyone else who didn't follow you to utopia.  

We are all different. Some of us want people to be treated equally and celebrated for what makes them different and generally don't care if you like them or not. Some people give all of themselves and are mostly concerned about how you feel about them and need very much to be liked. Some people think the world revolves around them, they ask you to give and give and never give a thing back in return and assume there isn't a chance in hell that you'd dislike them. Some folks live to judge and that is all they do. Some folks have most all their shit together and are earnest in all they do and they value people in the best of ways. Some people only live to hate because they hate themselves and they cannot imagine a world where hate isn't the default. Then there are all those people I cannot even begin to pigeonhole because I have no frame of reference. How the fuck do any of us stop from stabbing each other in the eye with a pencil? There is just too much to account for and some people are just too far the other way for us to understand. Let's just throw our hands in the air. 

I can sit here again and tell you why I should be the sole survivor in my own personal wars like I have in two other posts that I wrote because Mercury in Retrograde is fucking me up but luckily it's also making me better. Now I just want to say that if we all feel like shit right now there is still time for a do over. No one is stopping us from saying, "you know what? I'm gonna make up some new rules and I'm gonna shake some shit up in a good way." Then you can take your relationships that feel like crap and polish those turds into diamonds. If they were shit before you probably contributed to that and now you have the chance to make them what you always wished they were. Don't sit back and wish the other person would realize why they were your biggest Festivus recipient for the person who disappointed you the most this year. You disappoint yourself because you are bigger than that. Change your fucking mind. I will if you will.

Sorry for all the bad words but they were used for dramatic effect because we both know we need the shaking up. 

Lurve to ya from this Festivus Queen of Mercury in Retrograde. I'm doing it like an effin' boss. Now break and go kick some ass in the sweetest of ways an ass can be kicked. 

Yep, that already feels better and I think maybe I'll leave this one.