The reason that things are the way they are for you is that you believe. The reason things are the way they are for me is because I believe. If we were always right about what we believe we'd never cross the path of someone who thinks we are wrong. We'd all just always be right. But we are not. Who gets to decide who is right? The answer is, the believer. As long as you believe something, it's going to be right whether it really is or not.
The only way to grow is to accept challenge. Be willing to be wrong. Be willing to examine. Holding on tightly to what you believe will only stunt you. You cannot grow when you think you know all the answers or when you think there is only one answer to the question.
So are you a person who thinks that the life you have just happened to you? If your life just happened to you then that is your perception. If you believe this then life will just happen to you. If you don't like your life the way it seems to be happening to you then for a moment entertain that you can change that.
Do you feel like you will always be alone? If you really don't want to be alone stop believing that you are. If you feel like you'll be alone you are probably more concentrated on yourself than anything else. View the world as an opportunity. Stop waiting. If you are in waiting mode you'll probably stay there. Don't go out to try to find someone. Just go out into the world with a mindset that is not waiting. Be of the mind that you are living a life you love and don't worry with the waiting. Details are not something you should bother yourself with. The details have got you in the place your are in now. The details are what you are concentrated on that keeps you locked into feeling alone.
If you feel like a poser in everyday life then you are precisely like 80% of the population. The only thing that makes you feel this way is that for some reason you don't believe in yourself. It's not everyone else that doesn't believe in you but you that does not believe in you. Everyone else is too busy not believing in their own self to worry with you.
The best way to get out of the mindset that life just happens to you is to start today by living the life you want. No one will give you permission because they are waiting for their own permission.
What get's you excited? What do you like? What do you want? How do you want to live? What do you envy about others? If you can answer these questions you've made a significant step forward. So take your list of answers and step towards making these things happen.
Step One: Watch this video
Step Two: Strike a two minute power pose of your choosing.
Step Three: Go out and make one step towards making your life look like you want it to look. If you want to get in shape, start by going for a long walk. If you want to get your dream job, sign up for a class that might help you qualify, If you want to learn to dance, search youtube for dance moves and get up and try them. If you want to date, ask someone out (and I mean this for both sexes). If you want to have more money, start to save or look for a better job. If you want to write a book, shut this post, open MSword and start typing. If you want to be forgiven for things that you did in the past, forgive yourself and ask other's you've wronged to also forgive you. If you want to get well, start believing you can be well and make every move you can to be that way. If you want to be a winner, stop seeing yourself as a victim. If you want to be happy, do more things that make you happy.
Step Four: See that when you can accomplish one thing, you'll also be able to tackle the next.
Step Five: There is no step five.