Tuesday, June 30, 2015

walking the path that leads to purpose

If you are awake to the beauty of life you can see when the feeling of all is lost, turned into one of the best things that ever happened to you. It's so easy to look back on your past and think about all of the terrible things that happen to one over the course of a lifetime. It's easy to dwell there as well. If you are really honest with yourself and truly want to see how you've been blessed look back at those times and try to see what beauty came from it.

Every partner I've had in life helped me see how beautiful Bryan was from the second I met him. Every job I ever lost led me to a better one down the road.

My first marriage and a long running relationship I was in before meeting Bryan were both so intense that I knew I'd never marry again unless I felt like the person loved me for me, didn't want to change me and didn't want to argue. The bad stuff from before taught me to see the real beauty when it came my way. Being single for a really long time put me in the exact timeframe to be open to this relationship when it presented itself.

I left working for my grandfather to work at Wilson Sporting Goods. This was the first place that made me feel like the sky was the limit. When that job ended because of downsizing, I started to work at Berkline where I met Bryan. If I had not been forced to leave a company I loved working for, I wouldn't be with Bryan now.

I left Berkline and working at an after-school program part-time to go to work doing the accounting for Cotton Eyed Joes. In a thousand years I'd never have wanted that job but it wasn't really a choice. The job came up in casual conversation and it was much more money that I was currently making and I was barely getting by. I took it with much reluctance. I made several friends there and I didn't really have a lot of work to do and they didn't mind what I did in my spare time. I exercised, read, learned a lot and took a lot of that extra time to write the book I self-published in 2001. I ended up leaving this job when my breathing became a problem from the smoke leftover in the day from the night before. As hard as it was to take this job it was even harder to walk away.

The next job was selling mobile homes and that was never going to work because as hard as I might have tried I'd never have lied to someone to get them to buy a house. Let me tell you that all mobile home salesmen lie and you cannot sell to someone telling the true price when everyone else is lying about it. I left this job to keep the manager there from losing his. They tried to teach us a sells tactic that involved manipulating the truth and when the regional manager asked if everyone was using this method the manager would tell him we were, knowing I wasn't. The the regional manager would asked us all to tell a story of when we used it and how it worked. I was always honest and told him that I didn't agree. I knew over time the manager would be in trouble for trying to cover for me so I told him I had to leave because I knew I'd never be on board and I'd never lie about it.

Something similar happened at my next job. The management was probably the worst I'd ever encountered and knew I wouldn't be there long. No one ever talked down to me but I witnessed the mistreatment of women by men and I am not one to walk away silent. After I wrote a letter about what I'd witnessed at our corporate office to the Drs in the office I was at, I left and never looked back.

The next job I had was were I met most of the women in my life that are dearest to me. I was treated very poorly in this job but I loved it and I stayed 5 years. When it came to an end I knew I had to stand my ground and I knew that from prior experience that if I did it would work out for me. There's no right way to do a wrong thing. When I left those doors I didn't look back, I didn't wallow or hold a grudge. I just moved forward.

The last job I had prepared me for the job I have now. Without what I went through there I'd never be were I am now. I love this company, I love the people and I love being able to travel and visit with so many sweet people. My days on the road are some of the best days I've had at any job.

I know that my life has been made of a lot of moments I had to push through to find the beauty and I know that will not end as long as I am alive. I welcome those ugly moments arms open wide for it is those moments that always lead me to the most beauty. I know that if you look back at your own life and if you trusted that everything always works out for the best, then you can see similar patterns where good triumphed from bad. Life is a beautiful thing. 
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