Sunday, July 21, 2013

Who Gets to be Happy?

you2Take off your figurative coats and stay a while. This ain’t gonna be quick.

I know far too many people who believe that being unhappy is a byproduct of life and that they have no control over it. Let me say as nicely as I can that is a load of bullshit.

When I was a small child my grandmother teased me because whenever she told me something I’d almost always say, “yeah but.” She said one day I was going to “yeah but” myself to death. Don’t let that happen to you when I say anyone can be happy.

Some of the happiest people in the world are happy despite terrible circumstances. There are folks with less money, who live under terrible conditions and are in worse health than you and they are happy. Happiness is a decision.

I don’t want to get into the details of my life in a blog post. It would take far too long. If you want you can read about them in my book you will find on it’s own tab at the top of the blog. I will say, that I have not had the most smooth path in life, yet I am happy. That kind of makes me an expert. I’m just saying I know a few things about it.

The problem with not being happy begins when you put on that first layer of believing you have no control over it. You probably grew up in an environment that fostered this belief. You kept adding layers when something happened that seemed to back up this theory that you have no control. Pretty soon it’s like you are wearing multiple layers weighing you down and holding you in that notion. You don’t know how it feels to be naked and not bear the weight of all your coats. You are going to need to strip ‘em all off like refinishing a piece of furniture.

I recently wrote this post about questioning long held beliefs. That is exactly what you need to do.

One thing you might take note of is the common traits of happy people which can be found here.

Meditation is a great way to get back in touch with your authentic self. You can find numerous meditation videos on youtube like this one.

Another thing you could do is keep a gratitude journal. You can find some helpful tips about journaling your gratitude here and you can even find an iPhone gratitude app here.

If you believe you are not responsible for your own happiness it’s not going to go away overnight. You are going to have to prove to yourself you can find your own happiness.

The greatest tool in your arsenal is just making that initial decision that you are going to be happy. Make that affirmation and you’ll be on your way.
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