A few days ago I had a heated debate with a family member regarding taking responsibility. This other person might not see this as the root of our exchange but that was the point I was trying to make. When this exchange ended I felt like I immediately wanted to write posts about playing victim and not taking responsibility. I didn’t write those post even though they’ve been on my to-do list ever since. At some point I might put it out there but right now it’s off my radar.
Here’s where I am at this moment. Last night I was thinking about those two post ideas and it occurred to me that instead of body slamming my opinion all over the mat there might be something else I could do. I figure it’s all a matter of changing perspective.
What happened next was a little surprising. Out of nowhere I decided to do my own form of the Loving Kindness Meditation. I began by forming a mental image of different friends and family member's one at a time. While holding their image I sent them thoughts of a quieted and peaceful mind and then visualized a bright light radiating from their center until it expanded out of their body and into the world. As is with the Loving Kindness Meditation, I chose people who were both easy and more difficult to cultivate these thought towards, so that I might get the feel for accepting people that are harder to accept, by starting with people I already accept. In the past I have practiced the Loving Kindness Meditation (video) but it felt like just going through the motion and nothing else. This time was different. For once I understood what it was that I was to take from this meditation.
By looking at these people without judgment and just extending the idea of peace and a quieted mind I was sharing only love instead of imposing my opinion on them thus making them feel like I do not have kind thoughts towards them. This helped me to let go of the outcome I was trying to manipulate by trying to help this person in the way I thought they needed helping. I stopped trying to be the creator of an outcome and allowed these people to just be. We all know that no one can be helped if they don’t want to be and we all know that the greatest lessons we learn in life come to us by failing and making mistakes. This mediation allowed me to learn to let go and just accept.
As I move forward through life I hope I can be more mindful of acceptance and keep it at my forefront.