tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86400180271747409802024-03-05T03:33:40.306-06:00Soul PonySoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.comBlogger336125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-62804319382613852542024-01-18T11:14:00.004-06:002024-01-18T11:17:02.340-06:00Hello, again, hello<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqbKBSpfWtA6gO8XUecmhaxKSKlwb4m4IlbH9eHzWC5Z7HoiV3sN6CWsCBEZEuMg8CtnKnWspDHJkN3S1xHiWIzqF-Wnctlzobi6WZrZBI5vYlfjbOa6xoSATA8uOzyVbhuWjKoS3Ydq6AUKKyzckwmw1u0ov5VorCZkTS831QU1ltyVozeAlVorr8lcIn/s400/53433067980_d2e882bfd5_w.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="300" data-original-width="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqbKBSpfWtA6gO8XUecmhaxKSKlwb4m4IlbH9eHzWC5Z7HoiV3sN6CWsCBEZEuMg8CtnKnWspDHJkN3S1xHiWIzqF-Wnctlzobi6WZrZBI5vYlfjbOa6xoSATA8uOzyVbhuWjKoS3Ydq6AUKKyzckwmw1u0ov5VorCZkTS831QU1ltyVozeAlVorr8lcIn/s600/53433067980_d2e882bfd5_w.jpg" width="600" /></a></div>
Hello my friends. This is my big announcement. I am going to start writing again. I never wanted to stop but my hands just stopped cooperating with my heart. I couldn’t do it anymore no matter how much I wanted to. I think the best way to get back to this is to tell you why this medium of artistry became unavailable to me. <div><br /></div><div>I did a 6-month intensive Somatic Breathwork series with a coach. In that time, I brought up a lot of harmful memories. These weren’t suppressed memories. They were just memories I keep tucked back where I’m not looking at them all the time. I resisted the real work of dealing with them because, honestly if that was something I really wanted to do, I would have already. I just wanted to be someone my family could continue to love because I didn’t stir that hornet’s nest. That didn’t really work for me. The more I resisted the more that was all I could talk about. I didn’t talk about it in a way that would help me heal. It was gossipy and embarrassing. I wanted to win everyone to my side of the story because that felt like that would make it better. What it did was make me hate myself at a level I’d never allowed before. I quit writing. What good could I put into the world? How could I offer anything of value when I was so messed up? </div><div><br /></div><div>Here I am today, not completely well. I’m better but I’m not where I once was. The thing someone helped me realize is how much I depend on creativity to work through the things I need to work through. When I stopped writing it just took away my outlet for healing and bringing people together that share in some of what I write about here. I lost myself and my tribe. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, I’m back. My brain is whirling with all the things I have wanted to address but could not meet the heart with the hands to do it. I hope there is still someone around waiting for me to reemerge. Love to you all and thanks if you didn’t abandon me.
</div>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-59781881064645588372022-11-14T14:25:00.000-06:002022-11-14T14:25:06.570-06:00You Are Running Out of Time to Be You<p> </p><p class="MsoNormal"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNwM1inK-OrmBgs8-ASFhr5eGn91ncTuocTVbGjp-mICfB0Bya14ZAh9CwZS-te_VWzq_ZG5Tzj_9EO5ff0qB_itjyHBiwFaNB2y7GxlXTQj_jqnmoSfVxs9xvm27iwBbZ5nSk3Aaof33kihU9c6pqm_c3L27UPzdgJ65dvPi2N8wwgZ02wc96eDTG9g/s2066/IMG_9760%20(4).JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1811" data-original-width="2066" height="562" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNwM1inK-OrmBgs8-ASFhr5eGn91ncTuocTVbGjp-mICfB0Bya14ZAh9CwZS-te_VWzq_ZG5Tzj_9EO5ff0qB_itjyHBiwFaNB2y7GxlXTQj_jqnmoSfVxs9xvm27iwBbZ5nSk3Aaof33kihU9c6pqm_c3L27UPzdgJ65dvPi2N8wwgZ02wc96eDTG9g/w640-h562/IMG_9760%20(4).JPG" width="640" /></a></div><br />Oh, you bright screen you take the words right out of me. I
know what I want to say before I begin to type. I tap the mouse, I wake up the
screen and then, poof, it’s gone. I'm going to try and defy you and pull the words out that I feel so strongly.<o:p></o:p><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What I feel like I want to say are the things we think we
can’t. For whatever reason we got the idea that our life is in the spaces
between the words and not actually in the words. We got the message that we
cannot say the thing, but the thing is what sets us free. If it didn’t need to
be said, it would not be on the tip of our tongues and blasting in our souls
like a meteor shower. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If I were dying at this minute and could say one last thing,
I’d say to you, please stop. That’s it, please stop. Go no further with
anything that you do because you think that is what you are required to do. Someone
sold us on what life should look like and we think it applies to us. How could
it apply to everyone? There should not be a dedicated diagram for how life
should be. You know this deep down. That is why we are in pain. We keep going
by the book someone else wrote. Real freedom is, that we get to write our own
book. No one knows us, only you know you. That is why we must make our own way.
Get quiet and go inside. Look at yourself through and through. You are so
complex that a computer could not have written you. Everyone. Everyone. You are
all complex. No wonder we cannot understand each other. You are living in the universe
of you. No one else is there. No one knows exactly what you know inside. For so
long you’ve followed the outside rules and you’ve tried to keep it tidy. Those
rules are someone else’s rules, someone else’s book. Close your eyes and tell
me what’s in your book that gives you peace but maybe doesn’t fit outside.
Exactly who you are is the answer. It’s always been so.<o:p></o:p></p>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-21451525233429522632022-04-19T09:55:00.006-05:002022-04-19T10:15:00.190-05:00Mark Jenkins May 13, 1970 ~ March 21, 2022 <p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5SbAkp01gKlX1l8zVetJJuVE37kEMUgOBB8BB0L5p-is2TlEHej0fomvWtUpsEXHOCJHwF1FwUBbt-5vtnmcqpjgdHCnuO_x3Xn0POd2Fo9SVRMdHCuu6fde1GyC8E6rJo7suOJFNjLMJf3oQ6ZkNoAQrmi5ml5Fs6i9hKMITFFOeRFWz_GaEpNBttQ/s1776/277350865_10220474112584830_8673535947892154667_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1202" data-original-width="1776" height="434" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5SbAkp01gKlX1l8zVetJJuVE37kEMUgOBB8BB0L5p-is2TlEHej0fomvWtUpsEXHOCJHwF1FwUBbt-5vtnmcqpjgdHCnuO_x3Xn0POd2Fo9SVRMdHCuu6fde1GyC8E6rJo7suOJFNjLMJf3oQ6ZkNoAQrmi5ml5Fs6i9hKMITFFOeRFWz_GaEpNBttQ/w640-h434/277350865_10220474112584830_8673535947892154667_n.jpg" width="640" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8rGdNVBM7tDeEjuOXINk7R42nhN8rLY-bQUcTgYH8FKZkf1-0WPuMEgdG_6mrtoMN6nxqwvk1LaXdTS-fahfB7WSwrqv5allPjYBidNRbJ-JAQFGyorczRseU50ndd6h9Rzfyg_YB16NvRcJAeCT5ib9MJTUWFQBbc8LwNiDbprwSrfFv8mnw-ecMIA/s2048/277351912_10220474111624806_2942743226156258358_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1516" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8rGdNVBM7tDeEjuOXINk7R42nhN8rLY-bQUcTgYH8FKZkf1-0WPuMEgdG_6mrtoMN6nxqwvk1LaXdTS-fahfB7WSwrqv5allPjYBidNRbJ-JAQFGyorczRseU50ndd6h9Rzfyg_YB16NvRcJAeCT5ib9MJTUWFQBbc8LwNiDbprwSrfFv8mnw-ecMIA/w474-h640/277351912_10220474111624806_2942743226156258358_n.jpg" width="474" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikcAMV2Gs_7rhv4q6JoOdderO6tcIifSR36icBNotCvYxQ-e4IMGuEagHGKXom-SbbSejCde2xXC0i63g5R4q8hko0G5PrXf1A32MQUG640e-XagehAwQywk3n50ux8MI2aF8IjYq9uaQq89b7VguEzw2KgEVRNf6LJ_MOTgTnASeIq17aByDNNsyoRQ/s960/277500717_10220474018742484_7656568817061366259_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="960" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikcAMV2Gs_7rhv4q6JoOdderO6tcIifSR36icBNotCvYxQ-e4IMGuEagHGKXom-SbbSejCde2xXC0i63g5R4q8hko0G5PrXf1A32MQUG640e-XagehAwQywk3n50ux8MI2aF8IjYq9uaQq89b7VguEzw2KgEVRNf6LJ_MOTgTnASeIq17aByDNNsyoRQ/w640-h480/277500717_10220474018742484_7656568817061366259_n.jpg" width="640" /></a><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLXeH0vFf9drFrYayzo5xz9MR-Y8AHYPwwuni0sDLSQdXXD_JIqYLOtBtLoYcL5PSwz-Tcmuv_6p0dOVAvtbQgHqDDwIZwlMgZDKQu940OnA-OiU7ONYifAeZlAnJd6BhOJ-6vAmZauttc2rg1XGnHIPz4vIKIPY6xWKc50cZXofzx4hEXzE_XzqXVhw/s2048/277363108_10220474112744834_5380562726429515726_n.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLXeH0vFf9drFrYayzo5xz9MR-Y8AHYPwwuni0sDLSQdXXD_JIqYLOtBtLoYcL5PSwz-Tcmuv_6p0dOVAvtbQgHqDDwIZwlMgZDKQu940OnA-OiU7ONYifAeZlAnJd6BhOJ-6vAmZauttc2rg1XGnHIPz4vIKIPY6xWKc50cZXofzx4hEXzE_XzqXVhw/w480-h640/277363108_10220474112744834_5380562726429515726_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></div></div><br />I'm going to start by saying that I cannot choose this. I have no power over it and when someone leaves me, they are usually gone for good. So, don't go thinking I can just speak to anyone. I can't. They choose me and they choose when and how long.<br /><br /><div>The night I learned Mark passed away, I reached out to him
soul to soul and told him that if he needed to talk, I could hear him. In my extremely
limited experience of talking to the dead they don’t normally show up for a
while after they pass. I assume they are getting oriented to their new existence
and haven’t quite figured out how to converse with the living.<p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">During the first night after his passing, I woke somewhere
around 2am and it was on. For the first time ever, I felt a need to form the
words I spoke to him with my mouth instead of speaking them in my mind,
which had always been the way before. I assumed maybe it happened because
something between us made me know that he was more comfortable seeing me speak
than wondering if I was really speaking to him or just thinking about him. For
a good 2 hours we giggled and laughed at our predicament and how we had talked
more in this conversation than we had in most of our adult lives. I still want
to cry happy and sad tears right now while I write this, and I promised him I
would write this. He was positive he wanted me to take notes and I meant to write
them while it was all still fresh, but something wouldn’t let me. I was strong in
my procrastination. Maybe I thought he’d just keep sticking around nudging me
as long as it was undone. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In the past I’ve spoken to three other dead people who had
messages for other people. Now Mark made four, but our conversation didn’t
belong to anyone but us. It was like he was a visitor in my house. The only
message he gave for someone else was to tell my sister, Trista, to talk to him
while she drove home from work that day and to not tell her husband Steve
because he wouldn’t take it seriously and might make her feel like it wasn’t
real. When I think back to that call, I am positive I left out the don’t tell Steve
part. She knows their relationship and she could navigate that for herself.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Mark was a happy newly dead person. I could feel it so
strongly. I’ve never felt that before. I don’t feel sadness from the dead
either. It normally just feels like they are just not ready to leave their people
behind, they want them to know that and that’s it. He still isn’t leaving his people either, but he was
flying high with a plan to stick around. I asked him what it felt like to be a
soul without a body, and he said he felt like a butterfly. Of course, butterflies
keep showing up now and at his funeral they played a song that had butterflies
in it, and it was my first glimpse of how he’d remind me he was still around
even though he seems to have mostly moved on from me. I feel him around still on
brief occasions when I think about him, but I think he is with Eliza pretty
much full time now. I thought I’d have him for a long time, but he only stayed
a day, and he was gone. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">So, the morning he came to me, Bryan had left early because
he was working from the road that day. I felt so sick. Before we finished visitation,
the funeral, and the benefit that Saturday after he passed I could hardly eek
out a sound. I had full on laryngitis for the first time ever in my life. I got
out of bed after the morning light showed in my bedroom window. I went straight
to get water to sip on in a thermal bottle I’d been using. I was just going to
fill it up again, grab my laptop and go straight to the couch to work because I
felt so bad. When I picked up the bottle, he told me to wash it and joked that
I hadn’t washed it in a week. I obeyed. While I was washing it there was a sink
full of dishes and he told me to wash them too. I was like, “Dude I am so sick
right now, I just don’t feel like it.” He told me if I washed them, I would
start to feel better. So, I started washing the dishes. He would not let me set
down a clean pan if it had anything baked to the bottom of it. He’d tell me it
wasn’t clean and to get my paste out and scrub it clean. When I thought it was
good enough, he made me clean it more. He also made me partially clean the fridge.
He wasn’t satisfied with what I did but I refused to take everything out and
clean it like he wanted even though he was right, and it did seem that every
clean dish made me feel a little better. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My health had felt off for a while and I was doing a cleanse
to restore myself but eating with it didn’t seem to agree with my guts. I thought
I should probably fast for a few days to really let this cleanse work. He immediately
let me know that he thought I should fast too. I told him that I’d have to have
lemons to do the fast I do, and I didn’t want to drive to town. He said, “there’s
a lemon in the fridge.” Just to prove him wrong I went to look around the fridge
thinking we hadn’t eaten anything that would require us buying lemons and we mostly
don’t just keep them on hand. I went through all the drawers where we keep them
and there wasn’t a single lemon. I started to close the door and I saw half of
a lemon laying on the shelf. That blew my mind. I could probably make it with
half a lemon today and have Bryan bring some home on his way back. Another
thing I needed for the fast was Maple syrup. As I was putting away things on
the counter, I opened our pantry and the bottle of maple syrup we had fell out
of the cabinet and on to the floor right in front of my feet. Message received.
I’m fasting. I fasted for 4 days and other than the laryngitis I felt so much
better.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Mark told me when I was washing the dishes that I needed to
start seeing the dishes in the sink again. He told me I’d made a habit out of
not seeing them because Bryan just volunteers to wash them and I let him. He said
Bryan resented it and that I felt guilty that I let him do it. He said
resentment will kill him and guilt will kill you. He said resentment killed him
and now that he's gone he knows no one was responsible for making him feel resentful. He chose
it all on his own and wanted me to know we could choose to live with guilt or resentment,
or we could choose not to. I asked him if we were writing a book together, I
said that it seems that way. That’s when he let me know he wanted me to type
this story and not just write it in pen. I think he knew I wouldn’t share if I wrote
in pen which is my chosen thing to do in a situation like he and I were in. I
told him I would type it like he wanted but then I just couldn’t. Part of me
feels like my procrastination was because I wasn’t ready and the people who
would care about it might also not be ready, and I think that is why I lost my
voice during the whole funeral period. It was to stifle me until the time was
right. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I learned a couple of things from Mark. One is to let go of the
things that eat you up inside. Also trust when dead people
talk to you or risk having a bottle of syrup come close to hitting your feet.
There’s always a lesson with these souls and he also reiterated one I’d heard
before. Do not ever feel bad for a relationship you had with someone while they
were alive after they pass even if it wasn’t ideal. It was what both of your
souls needed to help you grow. If it were supposed to be different, it would
have been different. We are all here to help each other further down the path
and sometimes it’s just ugly for beautiful reasons.</p></div>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-70130821370363908342021-12-09T09:05:00.004-06:002021-12-09T10:05:36.098-06:00untangling the tangled<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiqxCQgpvYXev3hhuwA7RtszSbOK0LLEKxycGOx9SVzYaYOLSnmxxBs0zGI_PGTENa6LuiR8dyd25dowP7kOfMbM0kjF9F7P10hXG83PIAsN1PT7V8PShqoHxkTdvDvQhRjhCzB8qG3d7cYyZLCNQpobEIyiyKM_Xp4gidt3GNCyM12Uk1o5zKnhWPSfQ=s2048" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEiqxCQgpvYXev3hhuwA7RtszSbOK0LLEKxycGOx9SVzYaYOLSnmxxBs0zGI_PGTENa6LuiR8dyd25dowP7kOfMbM0kjF9F7P10hXG83PIAsN1PT7V8PShqoHxkTdvDvQhRjhCzB8qG3d7cYyZLCNQpobEIyiyKM_Xp4gidt3GNCyM12Uk1o5zKnhWPSfQ=w480-h640" width="480" /></a></div><p>As I move through my life with my people, I find it a marvel
really that so much of the world is shaped by popular opinion and not any real
attention to what should be valued. I’ll give you some of what I’m referring
to.</p><p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Do you ever notice how family is a form of separation from
the rest of the world? Not that we shut everyone else out but just being born
into/having a family automatically draws some sort of gate around you that you
are expected to stay in and adhere to the rules that they present to you. When
you learn those rules, you start to want to apply them to the whole world as if
it’d been born inside your gate and your gate is the same gate that surrounded
your family since its inception. Being part of your community also has the effect
of separating based on probably the same values because your family did not
come by them alone. This is the bigger gate that surrounds all the other gates.
You don’t even fucking know what it looks like to be inside other people’s
gates. You don’t want to know. You want the inside of their gate to look just
like yours, so you feel safe. So, let’s say you are one of those people who
does not live in a diverse community, your gate, as well as those people in
your community, might adhere to being in a world where you don’t care about
those people who don’t blend with the collective and what you know. That is the
popular opinion I’m referring to. You decorate your home like you see everyone
else do. You start to see everyone is wearing a certain trend and you don’t
want to stand out, so you opt for the same trend that ends up almost being the
uniform of your community. You let the radio in your area dictate the music you
listen to. You let the news tell you about the world you are in and how there
are people who don’t agree with you, and you fear they are out to destroy you. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">There are so many things we are fed as a society that really
don’t add up and we never stop to question that. If “they” say it, then it must
be true. I can give you many examples.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Do you believe sex is the central focus of your relationship
with your significant other? Why? Is almost everything else more important?
Anyone can have sex all alone. You don’t even need another person. Do you
believe this because that is how it was presented to you? Can you imagine for a
second, all the beautiful moments in your life with the people you love and see
that as you shift from one moment to the next, that great night of sex never
even comes up? You can have sex every effin’ day, with a different person or
the same and you do not have to love them or care one bit about them… and…it
can still be great. Sex and love do not even intersect when you think about it.
That is why when you are done, one of you is probably going to roll over and go
straight to sleep or at least one of you will hope that’s what happens. The
only reason you get it turned around is because you were taught that way. You
care so much about it because you think you should. Boys were taught how to
procure the conquest and girls were taught it is their duty to service men.
What if we never looked at sex like that? What if we looked at it like anything
that nourishes our bodies? Like a drink of water or ripe fruit from a tree. No
one is beholden to another. There is no expectation.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A lot of you believe you came from God. How could the God you
believe in create a mistake, if God is what you think God is? Yet anyone who
lives within a gate where things go down different than you think they should,
this is somehow not God created but seen as making a choice. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Who said boy and who said girl as if these were the only
options? Why a label at all? Did God decide that all sexes weren’t of equal
value or did a King decide the Bible needed a version that would amplify him
politically and give rise to the world he wanted to see, where women had no
power or voice?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If there is a God, don’t
you believe your real test is to break out of your limited thinking? Did God
make this person different from you and put them in your community gate as a
test to see how you’d use your portion of the holy trinity (holy ghost) to love
and understand or to see if you’d attack and shun? Could it be that maybe you
are supposed to figure it out on your own despite the ugliness and fear
perpetrated in the Bible? Could there ever be enough times that God commands
men to rape women and murder children to make you finally say, “this cannot be
the way.”? Will your fear of questioning a thing that is so obviously wrong, be
the thing that entraps you and keeps you in the hell you are in now, but you
fear is on the horizon? It is not coming, it is here. Could that be what the
God thing is all about? If that’s what is in your gate, I have no right to tell
you it is wrong, but shouldn’t you want to examine it for yourself or does
popular opinion dictate. Being in the gate isn’t flowing. It is the lack of
flow. It is your story being written for you instead of you authoring it
yourself.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I was at the Bluebird in Nashville one fate filled night and
along came in a long-haired stranger named Kevin Welch who imparted some words
of wisdom to me when I was so deep in the church, I could not see the light of
day. He asked me if I ever spent the night in Nashville when I came to town and
I told him how often I attended church and that it was near impossible for me
to do that. He said, “If God created everything, how can any part of that be
bad if you partake of it?” In my sad little brainwashed mind I thought, “You
wish, I wonder if he’s ever even read the Bible.” For days what he said rang in
my head and I could not let it go. It was the first time I’d encountered someone
with free thinking. I almost didn’t make it to the Bluebird that night and I’d
have missed one sentence that would end up changing my life. What happened
after that simple little thing was, me deciding that there might be people in
the world that did not believe like the people in my little fenced up world and
if they didn’t believe that, then what did they believe. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Next, I was at Tower Records and found a book called, <a href="https://www.abebooks.com/servlet/BookDetailsPL?bi=30771909070&searchurl=an%3Dgurumayi%2Bchidvilasananda%26sortby%3D17%26tn%3Dkindle%2Bmy%2Bheart&cm_sp=snippet-_-srp1-_-title1"><span color="windowtext" style="border: 1pt none windowtext; mso-border-alt: none windowtext 0in; padding: 0in; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Kindle My Heart: Wisdom
and Inspiration from a Living Master</span></a> <span style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">by </span><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/91763.Gurumayi_Chidvilasananda"><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; text-decoration: none; text-underline: none;">Gurumayi
Chidvilasananda</span></a><span style="background: white; color: black; mso-color-alt: windowtext; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">. When I bought it on
February 12, 1994, I didn’t have enough money to pay for it and I bought it on
a credit card I didn’t have money to make payments on. I still have the paper
receipt that was ran across one of those old school card imprint things. I
still don’t understand how this book found me or why I chose to go in debt for it,
but it changed my life. This is on the back of the book and if you just read
that, it could open your heart to something you’ve never known before:</span><span style="background: white; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: blue; font-size: 11pt;">Gurumayi tells us that the Truth,
the essence of our being, is present at every moment and we must make the
effort to go within and find it. In the beginning you might think that it is
esoteric or beyond your reach…but when the experience of the Self takes place
you realize how close it is to you.”</span><span style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p><span style="color: blue; font-size: 11pt;">God is within, beauty is within,
divinity is within: This is an age-old message. However, just saying it is not
enough. We have to contemplate it. “It is said that man is what he thinks…When
you contemplate the Truth, you become the Truth. And the Truth, she tells us, Is
always full…absolutely satisfying.”</span><span style="color: black; font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">Since COVID touches every aspect of our lives, you see a
lot of people giving credit to God when a family member is spared from death. I
seldom see anyone thank the doctors, nurses, or multiple hospital staff members
it takes to keep the place running or the healing happening. I see God get a
lot of credit for what other people do. I see people put every ounce of
themselves into something and then thank God when their work pays off. You’ll
say, “thank God I found someone to help me move” while that person stands there
in front of you, wet with sweat and worn to the bone. I hear people say their
thank-yous to God for the planet we live on, and they will ask you how it could
all just be without a creator. We watch this world create itself every damn
day. Do the trees, the bees, the wind, the rain, the soil, the sky, the moon,
the sun, and all the living beings not deserve that gratitude?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNoSpacing">We’ve all been trained inside our little gates and this
struggling world is what we have created with that training. Would you ever
consider maybe, trying to question on whose authority this lump of shit was
handed down to us? Can we just look at all this ugliness we believe and maybe
cast some sun on it instead of blaming or thanking a God? I’m sure if there is
a God, that being is without the ego mind of human beings and would not need
nor want credit for anything good that happens in the world. No one decides
what’s in your gate once you are of an age that you can think for yourself. Yet
here you are continuing to be controlled by it and you are too scared to
examine it. King James made sure of that. Why would Jesus say that you are God,
turn around and point back to it being said in Psalms to reiterate and not mean
it?</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Psalms 82:6</span></i><i><span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #0092f2; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></i><i><span style="background: rgb(255, 244, 236); color: #001320; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I said, "You are gods, And all of you are sons of the
Most High.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: 13.5pt;"> </span></p>
<p align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><i><span style="color: black; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 13.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">John 10:34</span></i><b><i><span style="color: #0092f2; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 8.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span></i></b><i><span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Jesus answered them, "Isn't it written in your scripture,
I said, you are gods?</span></i><i><span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; font-family: "Georgia",serif; font-size: 10.5pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><o:p> </o:p></span></i></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in;"><span style="background: rgb(253, 254, 255); color: #001320; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If that
scares you it should. It means you are too brainwashed to believe the thing you
say you believe because you have been taught to fear analyzing how you see the
world and if there is truth to it. It also means you are probably not living up
to the potential you have to live an extraordinary life.</span> </p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If we go back to where we started on this piece of writing,
we can see that beauty is in the details. It’s in the diversity. It’s in
allowing a thing to be what it is with as little resistance as we can give it.
That means people won’t always agree with you. It means you won’t always be
right? It means at the end of it all, there is no moment when it all becomes
perfect. The ocean is so beautiful but not without its hazards and danger. The
one hope you have out there in those waves is to go with them. That wave does
not allow anyone to determine its path, it does what a wave does, and it cannot
be trained inside a gate to do anything else. You can live by the laws within
your gate, or you can realize we are all in this together and we ride it out
however we are moved. It won’t always be pretty, and it won’t always be safe,
but it will be. If your only option is to stay in the gate, you’ll always be
separate. I think keeping us separate is exactly what those in power hope for.
If we see our power to pull together and flow, we won’t try so hard to compete
and have and have and have. How will the rich stay rich? How will the powerful
stay powerful?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In meditation recently I’ve tried to imagine my ideal world
into existence and then expand it out to all living beings. When I do this, I
always get stuck at expanding this imagined world out to everyone. When I do
that, these thoughts start to emerge of a formless, golden emptiness that encompasses
only love. At that point I lose any comprehension of how all of that would work
and how useless that world would seem to be. Would we all just be a glob of
golden loving goo without a self? Do we really want heaven or utopia? If you
try to see your way in a world like this, you quickly realize how little
purpose it’d serve. Do we want to be a formless/emptiness that only exudes
love? Try as you may on your own but if you do try to imagine it, do you find
yourself more lost? Now, let’s think about this, glance back over the last time
you just felt like you had the night of your life. Was there anything in that
night that wouldn’t make it in heaven? Think about all the times you laughed
over the shitting on of something you had a mutual distaste for with your
friends. Think about your stories that make you happy but are not even office
safe. Think about the times you pulled off some foolish feat that made you happy,
but you know you shouldn’t tell certain people. There were times you broke
every rule, and it was amazing. Now, think about all the times you were giving
to humanity and performing something selfless. What about the time you gave,
the money you gave, the love you gave? Could only goodness sustain us? Would we
witness goodness at all if that were all that existed?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When you give yourself time to look at these different
pictures of how your soul might exist, it’s not hard to see that the purpose of
life isn’t to only be happy and succeed. If it were, there’d be no death or
pain. So, what is it then? Is the purpose to walk through the earth, fire and
ice and be in harmony with it all as it comes and goes? Is it to learn that
nothing good would exist if we didn’t have the contrast to help us see? Is the
purpose of something bad happening in our world the chance to start over, like
moving to a new house where you get to caste out all those things hidden in your
closets that you forgot was holding you down? Is its purpose to make your life
new and not be caught permanently in the disruption and live there? <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Somehow, we have been sold that happiness and having more is
the goal. There are so many rules to keep us confined and in line. At the end
of life, we just want to win some prize and we try so hard to get to that
moment that we forget the prize is living every day.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I realize I’ve been all over the map with this piece and
there is so much else I could refer you to as examples of the point I’m making
but I’m not trying to write another book with this. I just want to remain
within a few pages and keep this in a range someone might take the time to
read. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Do I understand that I am both telling you to allow people
to be behind their gate, but I am also telling you to check out of your own?
Yep, I do. If someone steps out, it shows others the way. Freedom isn’t in
flags, borders, religion, laws, taxes and making someone else less than you.
Freedom is when everyone feels equal and able to walk in the world holding
their own space. Let’s get out of the gate and move in the wind whether this
next moment is good, or if everything just went to ruin. It will be both and
that’s okay. That is life.</p><p></p>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-25681960596465583762021-06-21T14:13:00.007-05:002021-06-21T18:59:23.370-05:00Iyla<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggpNtidIDrhdLD531rHb89k4dHc9ARZ27m1PxmRUGlo1f8EGV8l4Jvi6JuFFX_uq5fZrM0VxSYFiiXvUG_YlwdmvtP31ApQJO0eTWxsRXk5QFt_zCs1aQwbPfrBeIjv03jVgdRWXeP8Eq7/s2048/B02FDB25-EAD2-4E77-A73C-7FC22245C03C.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggpNtidIDrhdLD531rHb89k4dHc9ARZ27m1PxmRUGlo1f8EGV8l4Jvi6JuFFX_uq5fZrM0VxSYFiiXvUG_YlwdmvtP31ApQJO0eTWxsRXk5QFt_zCs1aQwbPfrBeIjv03jVgdRWXeP8Eq7/w480-h640/B02FDB25-EAD2-4E77-A73C-7FC22245C03C.jpeg" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">The first time I saw her I imagined I would cry on the spot. I didn’t. I marveled at her perfection, thought of all moments and memories we would share but I didn’t cry. I couldn’t figure it out then but now that I’ve had her for a year, I know that it’s the knowing her everyday that makes me cry and I just didn’t know her yet.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">I didn’t know that in her I’d see a thousand moments of a little me and I’d remember how easy this love comes. In my mind I’d shake my head to confirm to only myself, how hard it is to believe this doesn’t come easy for some people. It’s not your thing. It’s not what you are here for. Yours is something else I don’t know, so I shouldn’t judge it.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">The thousand:<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Her smile is so wide that it consumes her whole face.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She loves music so so so much.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She loves to dance.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She loves outside.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She loves water.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She looks just like her daddy, but I see bits of us all.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She has mine and Sky’s baby curls.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She doesn’t like to get dirty just like her dad when he was tiny.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She gets consumed in any moment when she is learning something new. She will take in every move of the way your mouth forms a word she’s learning because she is putting it in her secret filing cabinet for when she needs it.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She loves when you count. her toes. her fingers.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">Oh, and speaking of her toes. Her little baby pinky toes curl back away from all the others when you tickle the bottoms of her feet, and it may be the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She melts when you give her a baby massage when she’s fussy and fighting sleep. She did the same on the creek in the kayak. She took it all in, the sound of the water moving under the boat, the sound of the breeze in the trees, the sun on her face and the disappearance of it when we’d shift under the trees. She would close her eyes for brief moments to feel and hear everything until one time she didn’t open them because she had fallen asleep. I get that so much.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She gets mad when she can’t have everything, she wants all at once but then, you just want to give her all of whatever that is.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She is not going to like things too sweet. I saw it in her face after a little more icing than she could handle on her birthday. The way she shivered and gaged a little made me think, "I get it little one, I'm the same."</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She is bossy and I’m here for it. I want her to always be.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She loves all her people the way they love her and it’s a lot.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">She wakes up crying so pitifully when she stays all night but when I remind her in the dark, 'You’re at Happy & Granny’s, you just forgot and everything is okay,” she believes me and snuggles deeper into my chest. That’s when I’ll rub her little back or brush her hair with my fingers and stroke her check and tell myself how fortunate I am to have her to wake me so I can marvel that she’s here right this moment. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMNVFrHimatFMrqfJ-_9wfF9y5moovFpPvHha0u1Kn8hYEgS76uv9D071gnJNXmlNwSxWW0dsl330YWVkicXBQaoBARunHPIFoYplyh7aoaGZxytLcvRNTXwFtK7D0AB1S0oCQLlHVLY-/s2048/5074079D-D3B3-4C69-87EC-07FB97D971BF.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVMNVFrHimatFMrqfJ-_9wfF9y5moovFpPvHha0u1Kn8hYEgS76uv9D071gnJNXmlNwSxWW0dsl330YWVkicXBQaoBARunHPIFoYplyh7aoaGZxytLcvRNTXwFtK7D0AB1S0oCQLlHVLY-/w480-h640/5074079D-D3B3-4C69-87EC-07FB97D971BF.jpeg" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitUDWMvlBAK2sW3bat_i4AQIdB6q6Ml-IsdrbmTIjPhAbBlbxZbEE1FFrv4ZNk5DUIW-ggI-0yDfDGrmEsJ9dka0vJhr3xdJt2iehyphenhyphenvj5wDHTluUHFW_HpdSjiHfM0V-TnQIwBSj9Da2c9/s2048/8849DB6D-1217-4EFD-9FEC-79F60EDB1F4F.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; 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margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlgMSIO_Sel1WIHg8VN-TQH1CyAdWSKw5h0mHJSzTQxTsJXXNf288LMY1eWkpNNmlkjsBrZb0aFkjHi3n_yBLKyqFR9dZPfhtDxJRCcDQHPrj1E9aeA03P89Ss_-hDLgC8ePkeJZFd3kly/w480-h640/2FF4CA48-1ED4-4674-AD42-07FA88F67345.jpeg" width="480" /></a></div></div><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-71967244081077552772021-06-16T07:58:00.002-05:002021-10-27T13:35:39.742-05:00more mechanics of manifesting<p></p><div style="text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0WVuO6eSkGp5GqFxBVohrXbFfRSFYq0qwDMKO4K8FPUj3uuyFwcN1JKEl8gpGgiZP2qws2d-lwSUhVJi9nwpGEMtAwzUtCZGzilWkTqoql9hYk6lzphGpZliwdWLHeP-8O57fhtuK4wKf/s2048/IMG_6048.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0WVuO6eSkGp5GqFxBVohrXbFfRSFYq0qwDMKO4K8FPUj3uuyFwcN1JKEl8gpGgiZP2qws2d-lwSUhVJi9nwpGEMtAwzUtCZGzilWkTqoql9hYk6lzphGpZliwdWLHeP-8O57fhtuK4wKf/w480-h640/IMG_6048.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><p></p><p class="MsoNormal">Gosh, I think I’m finally seeing it. “It,” that thing they
tell you and it sounds like you get it but really don’t. I’ll try to explain. I only
thought I knew about manifestation and the mechanics of how it works and then, slap
in the metaphorical face, I didn’t totally get it.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I spoke about the mechanics <a href="https://soul-pony.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-mechanics-guide-to-manifesting.html">here</a>.
I stand by everything in that post but now I want to add a little sumpin’ sumpin’.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If you follow the path, I laid out in that post from 7 years
ago, you’ll see it works but here is some fairy dust to sprinkle on it. Think
about the thing you want and do all of the things in that post about imagining
it into existence and then think about someone who has what you want. Examine
how you feel about that person. Do you think they are different than you? Do
you think they know something you don’t? Do you think they deserve more? Do you
think life isn’t fair, you got a raw deal, and everything fell into their lap? If
you said yes to one of those questions it will be harder to manifest anything.
You must believe you can have and deserve to have what you want. </p><p class="MsoNormal">Now visualize
yourself as that person that didn’t know that until now but that you do know it
now. Realize that no one is perfect, we all make mistakes, and you deserve all
the good in the world. Stand up a little straighter. Walk a little taller. Just
know, wanting what you want is a form of letting the universe know and that she
has your back and is 100 of steps ahead of you on cultivation your thing. It’s
already on its way and when you believe you are worthy of it, you’ll be able to
see it and not let it pass you by like it may have 1000 times already.<o:p></o:p></p>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-73982218745833048492021-03-30T09:58:00.002-05:002021-03-30T10:52:32.196-05:00buckle up buttercup<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbEvWiwoS44ZGk403KtuYWWdSmm48jFdpULBppuBC_WGmhe2muUU8dtvRaSUDhOj5dZ5a9FNHJsrvD08QW7VthhS9YJFeljjYruijptb2UKb4xjtxx6G7hy_KYyXQPyh8AxdAqVL2alL-k/s700/http___com.ft.imagepublish.upp-prod-us.s3.amazonaws.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="394" data-original-width="700" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbEvWiwoS44ZGk403KtuYWWdSmm48jFdpULBppuBC_WGmhe2muUU8dtvRaSUDhOj5dZ5a9FNHJsrvD08QW7VthhS9YJFeljjYruijptb2UKb4xjtxx6G7hy_KYyXQPyh8AxdAqVL2alL-k/w640-h360/http___com.ft.imagepublish.upp-prod-us.s3.amazonaws.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><p>I want to tell you about one of the biggest heartbreaks I
feel every damn day. It’s when I see women put everyone and everything in front
of themselves. I get it. We are moms, wives, sisters, daughters, and we have
been taught that labels are all that we are. I want to be all those things too,
but I don’t want the label to tell me what that is or how that should look on
me. Here is how we got here.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As far as we can see back through history, men have been
made first. They wrote history so they had control of the narrative. They made
the damn labels. I’m not sure if you know this but from all the missing
scripture that has been found but not included since we got the bible that
everyone warns not to add to or take away from, it paints a very different
picture of Mary Magdalene that the 12 disciples didn’t want revealed. So, they
just hid it and left it out. <a href="https://www.history.com/news/mary-magdalene-jesus-wife-prostitute-saint">Mary
Magdalene was the most trusted and closest confidants of all his followers</a>.
When the story was told they hid this and made her a whore. Some even believe
that she was the wife of Jesus. I am one that falls in that category. It
probably also has something to do with the missing years they don’t want to
talk about. Did this just crush your soul? Did it make you stop reading? Probably,
because you believe what the bible says, and you have also been taught not to
question the teaching or risk being burned in hellfire. I didn’t say they weren’t
smart. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Here is why feminism is important. Men rule this world
because the story, written by men, has made you believe you are here to be of
service to them. You don’t believe that? Who does the laundry at your house?
Who cooks the food? Who cleans the house? Who takes care of the children? How
much do you contribute to the big decisions? Who has control of the house
money? Who is policing your streets? If you went to court, who would be the judge? Who
runs your local government? Who runs your state government? Who is the
president? If a woman is raped, who decides the fate of her rapist? If a man
has sex with a female student, what happens to him? Answer: he gets moved to
another school. If a woman has sex with a student, she goes to prison. Don’t get
me wrong, this is wrong across the board, but the punishment should be the same.
Who runs the company you work for? Who makes the most money at the company you
work for? I know that we are making strides but making those strides comes with
a price tag. Those strides are here because of feminism. <o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">We need people in the world who can see the story from a
woman’s point of view. That is why men can abuse women and get away with it.
Our country is ran by people who sympathize with the abuser because most of the
time they are male. Sometimes when women are in power, they also sympathize with
the abuser because they only know this world from the perspective of how things
go when men are in power and that feels normal to them. They will even fight
you to keep it that way because of the brainwashing they’ve had prior to becoming
an adult in this world. It may be the saddest thing of all when it comes to
this stuff. I feel hopeful for the next generations because what has happened
in our country is finally under a microscope and truth is in the light. We are
growing women with a thicker skin and with stronger backbones than we used to.
It will make a difference. I know right now you are seeing the groans of the
male population scared that we are figuring it out and you saw their sympathizers,
warring at the capital this past January 6th to keep a racist, misogynist, sexual
predator in office but the future is there for the taking and I see women
everywhere getting in line.<o:p></o:p></p>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-72138444781950040702021-03-26T10:41:00.007-05:002021-03-26T12:01:11.485-05:00This...<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allow="autoplay; fullscreen; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="1138" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/529395133" width="640"></iframe></div><div style="text-align: justify;">In our house we don't hold to gender roles. We both do what feels right to us. Bryan is a more nurturing person by nature and I am more of warrior and would go down in flames to protect my family. If you break into our home, I'm probably the one meeting you at the door with the baseball bat and he is the one who will offer you a Band-Aid when I'm done. He loves to cook, I don't. I love fixing things so before we call the repair man, you can bet I'll be googling a fix and trying to tackle the repair myself. We aren't special and I know you know that is not what I'm saying. I think through the trials of life, we have figured what suits our own soul and peace of mind. So, rather than try to be something because it's what the world expects of our gender, we do it our way. It makes it so much easier to love and be loved when you learn to accept a person for who they really are and not what you think they should be.</div>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-36300439414318663852021-02-02T13:17:00.002-06:002021-02-02T13:25:14.798-06:00The Path to Self<p></p><p><span style="color: black;"></span></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig3on7MykwN6I0BrnKnX6DTVLarW_knZ7UmYSmorE8ty-OPl1qL7SDdRwf54fDqrN9Lv0fqPM6v2KJDkQlII4j4f6nfOUioyHebnECN0CY9MWAPq2qR0XI-_E_4ekkZoqacrjN17CDtxRS/s2048/50902631172_94b6b6f8f4_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig3on7MykwN6I0BrnKnX6DTVLarW_knZ7UmYSmorE8ty-OPl1qL7SDdRwf54fDqrN9Lv0fqPM6v2KJDkQlII4j4f6nfOUioyHebnECN0CY9MWAPq2qR0XI-_E_4ekkZoqacrjN17CDtxRS/w640-h480/50902631172_94b6b6f8f4_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><span style="font-family: inherit;">I want to blow through this topic and make it a super fun and easy
read because I think it is so important and something we never talk about. I am
not sure how low key I can make it, but I am ready to tackle it.</span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><u1:p></u1:p><span style="color: black; line-height: 107%;">As many of you know, I do
not subscribe to the Christian tradition when it comes to spirituality. I have
many reasons that I have talked about before and it's all here on the blog if you
are interested. That is not what this post is about. I wanted to make a video
instead so that you would not have to read it but after starting and stopping a
couple times and realizing all I was saying was um and clicking my tongue
against the roof of my mouth, I did not think I could pull it off. So, this is
what you get.<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 107%;">I am just now beginning to realize how little grace
I extend to people who have not been able to find their way to the other side
of believing and then not. Looking back now, it has felt like weakness to me.
It did not feel weak to me when I was doing it myself. I felt like I climbed
the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K2">K2</a> and lived to talk
about it and yes, I Googled to see what mountain was hardest to climb. It was
not just that it was a hard climb, going back down the other side without any
support was the hardest part. You can lose everything. For me I did not even
lose much other than I was now without that thing that ruled my life, and I did
not know what the rules were or what to attach or not attach to after I made it
safely back down. I understand that for others there is much more involved. The
whole family thing is probably the one sticking point most people have when
they seek truth. I am going to go ahead and tell you that when you start to
look and are open, you will easily see how you have been misled but it will not
be easy for you to share that with others because it will take them becoming
open and able to look through fresh eyes and that is a choice they must make,
just like you and most people fear that. The religion teaches you to fear that
because if it did not you would have left it long ago.<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 107%;">Is it okay to hold on to a bit of Christianity
once you are out? Yes, you can believe what you want. You always could. The
part you let go of is the part that keeps you trapped into thinking you can
never be worthy or that some part of you is unlovable, sinful, and
irredeemable. This is the thing I wanted to really drive home here.
It is hard. You are not weak if you keep straddling the fence. To pull that
last leg over will take every ounce of strength you have in you. I remember it
so well when I went through it and the fence analogy was what helped me. I told
myself that nothing changes until I can pull that other leg across even if I
drag it. Oh, and I did drag it. It was so hard to imagine what life would be
like if I let go completely and just trusted. I knew for myself that redemption
was all the way on the other side and maybe it is not that way for everyone.
For me, I knew I could not love and accept myself through the lens of the
church and its followers. And then one day I made the decision, I crossed
entirely over, and I have not looked back nor will I. You try to shove that
baby chick back into its broken shell once it sees the world. It cannot be done.<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 107%;">If you really want to know the pain that
Christianity causes look no further than the state of America. Many of these
people follow so blindly that they put the last president in office and fought
so hard to keep him there all the while believing he was the chosen one. They
were able to look passed every ugly thing he ever did and stamp him God
approved. They do it every Sunday to some of the most hate filled teachings in
the breathing living world without ever questioning, so it was not a hard
transition.<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 107%;">I promise you there is 20/20 vision over here,
but you must be willing to lose everything to find it. If you read this post
without fearing for your own soul, then you may have a chance.<o:p></o:p></span><u1:p></u1:p></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; mso-margin-bottom-alt: auto; mso-margin-top-alt: auto; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; line-height: 107%;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Today I declare that I will not judge those who
stay put. I know it is hard. I am not denying it in any way anymore. If you
ever want to talk, I am here and I promise not to judge. So, that is really where this was going the
whole time. I just did not know it and there is grace there too.</span></span></p><p></p>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-46900117167007096442020-12-11T10:05:00.004-06:002020-12-11T10:05:36.770-06:00Subconscious Bias<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allow="autoplay; fullscreen" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="1138" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/489030824" width="640"></iframe></div> SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-16183431093107718622020-09-29T15:30:00.012-05:002020-09-29T16:41:45.021-05:00I Don't Mind Quarantine That Much<p>I've got my circle and I'm happy with it. Missing people is a thing but I'm very happy being with my family. I'm happy working from home and having a zoom call on Thursdays to keep up with the amazing people I work with. </p><p>We've got a few tried and true coping dealios that work well for us. We take a lot of one day road trips on the weekends and get something good to eat while we are gone that we eat in the car. We have ate at the establishment if it's open air and with real social distancing. But, yeah, we eat in the car 95% of the time. </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG8otOKwy1Z0jnTg7sy2lynpmjlfE2FnKXjcK6Vx0A8QCQl2omZsMq0nAY_w78EHIN6kMAIlAmtvbeVj5pgASkL1N_JfNq2B2MmdAm1MGKJFMylAyIufFNAXGoBTkb6cESo-2FT7VUFzAO/s1125/thumbnail_IMG_8308.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="866" data-original-width="1125" height="492" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiG8otOKwy1Z0jnTg7sy2lynpmjlfE2FnKXjcK6Vx0A8QCQl2omZsMq0nAY_w78EHIN6kMAIlAmtvbeVj5pgASkL1N_JfNq2B2MmdAm1MGKJFMylAyIufFNAXGoBTkb6cESo-2FT7VUFzAO/w640-h492/thumbnail_IMG_8308.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6yzg-4t79gOvKO8vI9G3_8mTdK7r0oRLMYqYLxWLPG0gyQFsu_2rG0_NwtLsJETVNMs_u3cWERMlcbDRAV6AtYfx6IH68MB4KelqK3FYqX45AYFRuAc6LHrtMgv05rPXa3NaigZJUdc04/s1129/thumbnail_IMG_8309.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; 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margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="4048" height="680" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibTAht56nXoeuWsFFjXJfcVeTBnnqKosI6CLVJp_9ahNxYxKU6iPKkX2Xh2GR3YzIZJT04bARD1L8BykUGK2K_4lk7RLmxom6iWgKOd-dXiu_sK9tLSKtHUoCQwpy2QnNjq14kcLUVM3x1/w640-h480/50387768642_174b0983b7_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dzkTVJB2yK-KffH-nrAaApaQG-y8MOiNINds2vNiRmrtJP7G7WuG-4huS4MOPL2IKzbALZMmv1lWBVUxCEYPw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div><br /><div>We also spend a lot of time loving on Nick and Iyla and that may be our favorite pastime. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_7R1ie85NSFlVAHptv8dIrAgmLTxfEyZe5lZDVYWOv-dAllRbekQGpRkJnANhXmadl3AwakGWFVBa7jLXBNrY35iXRH98Je2Wio8pzAQ1kmTLkaXQy8gV8SDvKtAJ_OCF7OtKV6fDAU87/s2048/50103457538_2a65b9081c_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; 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text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJsVvili7abuFzt-CEXASY_6ud3bhSdLAtKuJUTwT8tzVOR4tuGoLlwNTPpnSv2SDBkNMPA75RSvPCjX8v38vi9Ct6D7D5xKf2E9ckemOcNTwn6FjdVhCl-TDqo8LDB-Rja8JokFlI3Rpd/s2048/50398021507_820b791268_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJsVvili7abuFzt-CEXASY_6ud3bhSdLAtKuJUTwT8tzVOR4tuGoLlwNTPpnSv2SDBkNMPA75RSvPCjX8v38vi9Ct6D7D5xKf2E9ckemOcNTwn6FjdVhCl-TDqo8LDB-Rja8JokFlI3Rpd/w480-h640/50398021507_820b791268_o.jpg" width="480" /></a></div></div><br /><div>We have continued to kayak but maybe not as much and we also went camping on a meteor shower night.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQtX4uJBbEYy1snDfgqIZWHStanP-HGO0utpYSUpROuwmKgdRD0GI_0JRgtmjWBfh3keIGMRmY0IYiiBo2g7nWJy-JzJQbEBZa-_18cFmGQGsKlqOc1O71kLtj4Ey8MvMzNA4eFpuHzCWY/s1125/thumbnail_IMG_8310.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; 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margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2316" data-original-width="3088" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7gN2c2uG7dhs155tVp5M998WhvDz5Cd8ixIbgyTTFiaji9rN2soFdIjgeyr5yC5rZWHhSxcTrzjoS6XZ3KY5XeSd2hliH6xG7vJ4m_sw44j_s5_sy8k61-TJiO7Ry_1t-bPjBQUestCMY/w640-h480/50220080751_b6163b88e9_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div>And of course there is the entertainment you get from wearing the craziest outfits that no one ever sees.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNU8O9rdcgibs-0o87Rd7MWq2ZvoqKUPGVNFe8KsjbJhn3kg45K9pMbXZQp6-hbgvKQoI4L5BFVFzGVKBNsQYH1HjfMsZs8hNDMUL_U1uxJRQj_YbkJ6fJr0h1VduBL17SwJVcJuPxvmbm/s2048/50200931462_649cbb4d0f_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNU8O9rdcgibs-0o87Rd7MWq2ZvoqKUPGVNFe8KsjbJhn3kg45K9pMbXZQp6-hbgvKQoI4L5BFVFzGVKBNsQYH1HjfMsZs8hNDMUL_U1uxJRQj_YbkJ6fJr0h1VduBL17SwJVcJuPxvmbm/w480-h640/50200931462_649cbb4d0f_o.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKrm2K69lfV66HMKVISmKNlVaMQF1mq5SH9IqOciZqsAyYLwpvMSJnnDzkINRbAhR4YfYTLuNZQFr0UxpfksMM8BmtoFM7ftz0MEDc7Dp5b7vJNjJpUPD6WymCnm5TMb95gM7-6IHYt23v/s2048/50148809518_69212646c0_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKrm2K69lfV66HMKVISmKNlVaMQF1mq5SH9IqOciZqsAyYLwpvMSJnnDzkINRbAhR4YfYTLuNZQFr0UxpfksMM8BmtoFM7ftz0MEDc7Dp5b7vJNjJpUPD6WymCnm5TMb95gM7-6IHYt23v/w480-h640/50148809518_69212646c0_o.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkSGG7FClDwC7jAgIWj9wFfaZWcYz8DSfh6kNRGX9BZ-kbwOP_u7x072hrouQLKXVn9yOqDvdETHxusd6DHUmTPwM8n7ZW4YTFrJH0bFCLG1v9JQHEWMJIF3aBav114y8Qz3kG8Mk0ZQ2l/s2048/50101929237_33d680e555_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1536" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkSGG7FClDwC7jAgIWj9wFfaZWcYz8DSfh6kNRGX9BZ-kbwOP_u7x072hrouQLKXVn9yOqDvdETHxusd6DHUmTPwM8n7ZW4YTFrJH0bFCLG1v9JQHEWMJIF3aBav114y8Qz3kG8Mk0ZQ2l/w480-h640/50101929237_33d680e555_o.jpg" width="480" /></a></div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgURGpLKcjrfC-BfS1kJVrffWLv82foRLlSHIgxDPzPL31LowuM_kQ2LjblzzFqPwm-b5Jff9hULYhD7Xa78wDJtaOpzNy8IcAgXR9-u5VAf1dQiLYnRKk5XZKryipmsqunj7Yl3SSbeEj8/s2048/50207706678_2121ed637a_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1041" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgURGpLKcjrfC-BfS1kJVrffWLv82foRLlSHIgxDPzPL31LowuM_kQ2LjblzzFqPwm-b5Jff9hULYhD7Xa78wDJtaOpzNy8IcAgXR9-u5VAf1dQiLYnRKk5XZKryipmsqunj7Yl3SSbeEj8/w326-h640/50207706678_2121ed637a_o.jpg" width="326" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I managed to grow a plant from an avocado that we ate and enjoyed and I'm pretty impressed with myself for that. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdJseY39LC_3Zuw82l833Z8qYV0pp3TWcipYtXwbae1LwPEdl_rowA0kfH7uN8Rua-r7PLN_67wQcNs0xOa0g0uf7P7tzpAZuiQqZML668cSCMNwkQXUSlRQyCUzy2rJ9dE75gkVIQb2g2/s2048/50383479286_f272df2767_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2048" data-original-width="1638" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdJseY39LC_3Zuw82l833Z8qYV0pp3TWcipYtXwbae1LwPEdl_rowA0kfH7uN8Rua-r7PLN_67wQcNs0xOa0g0uf7P7tzpAZuiQqZML668cSCMNwkQXUSlRQyCUzy2rJ9dE75gkVIQb2g2/w512-h640/50383479286_f272df2767_o.jpg" width="512" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">We watched an actual concert in the driveway on the big screen and that felt pretty special. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAsadDliiYcrU8hq2210zXU6ujkqT7b8eZJkD9yazooP1zPqhgwDZAwYZcfp67TL8kJN4BhZxt6Pi_uc3EU61l-QINTptX_7KInm6SMNQ8RNV0zR4u4U-KfDWAvQT5FIC7K9ifqlXuvCvW/s1682/50360920993_1ce7ba0127_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1262" data-original-width="1682" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAsadDliiYcrU8hq2210zXU6ujkqT7b8eZJkD9yazooP1zPqhgwDZAwYZcfp67TL8kJN4BhZxt6Pi_uc3EU61l-QINTptX_7KInm6SMNQ8RNV0zR4u4U-KfDWAvQT5FIC7K9ifqlXuvCvW/w640-h480/50360920993_1ce7ba0127_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV0crgQA01s3g6F_5ZlgtaQRyeZWLoH7Nu-msNfwSjmFfkUCzm5qiJIjmFCu-WeelKY5H_DAsjfGGEyFXtBg0avNab4QQ0cVd7uwYDFH8_yIwmQA27jIuJEj3zB-8YZmOMPJt4ICQeY9iM/s2048/50361618166_12ba363c4d_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1536" data-original-width="2048" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV0crgQA01s3g6F_5ZlgtaQRyeZWLoH7Nu-msNfwSjmFfkUCzm5qiJIjmFCu-WeelKY5H_DAsjfGGEyFXtBg0avNab4QQ0cVd7uwYDFH8_yIwmQA27jIuJEj3zB-8YZmOMPJt4ICQeY9iM/w640-h480/50361618166_12ba363c4d_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span style="text-align: left;">We still have our weekend morning trips to get breakfast where we ride along side of Mill Creek as we eat and sip. If we can get up early enough to get back before 8:00am we may do a run during the week and that is super special.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipDscLFXXobkOurLsJ_GQXiLNhy8b_Vc6pMlS_TZCHQ5FVFyYYRB7gyD19Ji77DVH9e16RGTbhXCM_Dpl1rOQOvzUm4BaZBniwKN-atLxMZGTCJf2H6XqkGLrTJ91b2WSCnJscisQCfrP4/s1440/50208238956_16fd4a931e_o.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1440" data-original-width="1440" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipDscLFXXobkOurLsJ_GQXiLNhy8b_Vc6pMlS_TZCHQ5FVFyYYRB7gyD19Ji77DVH9e16RGTbhXCM_Dpl1rOQOvzUm4BaZBniwKN-atLxMZGTCJf2H6XqkGLrTJ91b2WSCnJscisQCfrP4/w640-h640/50208238956_16fd4a931e_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div>We are home all week while we work. We never go into a public place without a mask, we shop when we need to, visit the babies at least once a week, try to find some place to go on the weekend that will get us back before dark and allow us to eat something good and that's it. I cannot say I'm mad about it. Life is good.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dz_2htJG4yUs888Y2pJS4fUNl0mF3hDY6wzWXcO4cB97wEfwEywwMF_c8C7EdbknXUTp4V_-6inBpK7PqUKyA' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I'd love to know what routines you are falling into. It's something that probably looks different for everyone but I really enjoy hearing how others are doing it. Do share.</div>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-54887210532742689612020-09-24T15:34:00.003-05:002020-09-24T17:36:23.474-05:00Republicans and Their History of AbortionIn 1973 Roe v Wade was decided by the Supreme Court. Though abortion has always been thought to be part of the Liberal agenda, it might be wise to take a closer look. So, let’s break it down. Who sat on that court, who appointed them and how did they voted on Roe v Wade?<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL00NjByhIheTitMpyEUe1zly9c9v5VqwMR4EVL9x_M9oZ_6CRbdR7prOnnH926umk_wiAU-k_PJW15lKA59nhyBv-qFvm3-OQAxuVEYTU-ao7xi3KF5nfzX3dnEZ9OuVHv1fZmx2vaIoY/s685/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.57.55.png" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="336" data-original-width="685" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhL00NjByhIheTitMpyEUe1zly9c9v5VqwMR4EVL9x_M9oZ_6CRbdR7prOnnH926umk_wiAU-k_PJW15lKA59nhyBv-qFvm3-OQAxuVEYTU-ao7xi3KF5nfzX3dnEZ9OuVHv1fZmx2vaIoY/s600/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.57.55.png" width="600" /></a></div>As you can see seven Supreme Court Justices decided the fate of Roe v Wade. Of those seven, five of them were appointees of Republican Presidents and two were appointees of Democratic Presidents. Of the two who voted against the decision, one was a Republican Appointee and one was a Democratic Appointee. I’m sure if you’ve believed your entire life that abortion was a Liberal issue you may find this surprising. You may also find a few more things surprising.
Roe v Wade has been challenged multiple times since it was decided on January 22, 1973. An in that time the majority of the Supreme Court has been justices that were appointed by a Republican president. The last time the court makeup had a majority of Democrat appointed justices was in 1968. You know what that means. Roe v Wade has been upheld by Republican appointees along with Democrat appointees. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOBYJN92jIQ5unXQAXsnjinepZDaWwcYkU33400wl9mSFIP3U1dSMfDFK9thuR6bnux0crzxBx19ktKM1JMvbZ3zD6YKJAdKaO__g-zReKfUK6jqlppPaZvqZ9XwJVlaziFK4CP-xpGK2D/s553/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.58.42.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="553" data-original-width="376" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOBYJN92jIQ5unXQAXsnjinepZDaWwcYkU33400wl9mSFIP3U1dSMfDFK9thuR6bnux0crzxBx19ktKM1JMvbZ3zD6YKJAdKaO__g-zReKfUK6jqlppPaZvqZ9XwJVlaziFK4CP-xpGK2D/w436-h640/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.58.42.png" width="436" /></a></div><br /><div><br /></div><div>So, now that we’ve got that under our belt let’s look at who has abortions. Lifeway completed a study of people who have confirmed having an abortion. What is Lifeway? LifeWay Christian Resources is based in Nashville, Tennessee and is the publishing and distribution division of the Southern Baptist Convention and provider of church business services. What did their study find? </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd0B2hbOdrLlaZ1wcC6A-JFHhTyuvT0LEb2Ey3rvhaVxd2snxgWhuqYfXvyAIwF-C8LzUMBZn1shyphenhyphen04rZAVV8DxB9kDy9ow_LyYyDXW2s7_p_cSiSbia_JbU3RYOlUretiYbmAL8wo7xvd/s988/70%2525.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="739" data-original-width="988" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd0B2hbOdrLlaZ1wcC6A-JFHhTyuvT0LEb2Ey3rvhaVxd2snxgWhuqYfXvyAIwF-C8LzUMBZn1shyphenhyphen04rZAVV8DxB9kDy9ow_LyYyDXW2s7_p_cSiSbia_JbU3RYOlUretiYbmAL8wo7xvd/w640-h478/70%2525.png" width="640" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYV5s7oMbdihv8kmbFoZOAttskMxgLh9BzUupQfhgfVhYEoBpI8c51WIQbEA9cY11f2aIxXhgdavYmIMCOlUWYpFxtLuzjd-gqbkxpG5C-_rLTVt7gjGLQVCppt2jXf6HMW0FReTIbd_s9/s984/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.36.28.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="734" data-original-width="984" height="478" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYV5s7oMbdihv8kmbFoZOAttskMxgLh9BzUupQfhgfVhYEoBpI8c51WIQbEA9cY11f2aIxXhgdavYmIMCOlUWYpFxtLuzjd-gqbkxpG5C-_rLTVt7gjGLQVCppt2jXf6HMW0FReTIbd_s9/w640-h478/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.36.28.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiOyTISm-TdF8BwzEC6aw2R2Ztcc0veVwIjkfyJ9n5VL9baEQTT9GImRGbJ_NZUMwXst7SQMneRsKHZsIXyIJ5m3cWwLtE077eHovgtNJyHfHIH07dhNj7jtPmWFjyzYbWrqQla__7kYa6/s974/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.36.35.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="974" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiOyTISm-TdF8BwzEC6aw2R2Ztcc0veVwIjkfyJ9n5VL9baEQTT9GImRGbJ_NZUMwXst7SQMneRsKHZsIXyIJ5m3cWwLtE077eHovgtNJyHfHIH07dhNj7jtPmWFjyzYbWrqQla__7kYa6/w640-h474/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.36.35.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">That’s right, 70% of women who have had an abortion indicate their religious preference is Christian. You know what party Christians most likely support when they vote? Republicans. So that kind of means there are a lot of Republicans out their getting abortions.
Why do they choose abortion? So, while we are breaking it down maybe we should look at what part judgment plays in the decision to abort a baby. Maybe it has something to do with this:</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOPsd4LEVG3T00Y0kKENroh5I7woMYQJeeaS3OJVHKfpioJN9RYv-d4hsvYcRUXziAbstUia7Ck-vghaWu24Phyphenhyphen3pdBYx4AsUWlL-fX2zls3djmSNgOXS-zJZzowSnCqxBIAosaDiY_rAm/s985/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.39.40.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="741" data-original-width="985" height="482" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOPsd4LEVG3T00Y0kKENroh5I7woMYQJeeaS3OJVHKfpioJN9RYv-d4hsvYcRUXziAbstUia7Ck-vghaWu24Phyphenhyphen3pdBYx4AsUWlL-fX2zls3djmSNgOXS-zJZzowSnCqxBIAosaDiY_rAm/w640-h482/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.39.40.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizk5N6HJFFhtCQYoCVGrC_9VsCJVrx3_waLn8nXwH3eHTOnMSfu-ufWF9cyklXl6vLhoD_d76NgFIu0hUZb72bRR8mwYeqVPECtL_1ccc8UPxKwNAPp-yhAGYTABnA4voDCkdjVDIeGdt7/s990/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.39.57.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="733" data-original-width="990" height="474" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizk5N6HJFFhtCQYoCVGrC_9VsCJVrx3_waLn8nXwH3eHTOnMSfu-ufWF9cyklXl6vLhoD_d76NgFIu0hUZb72bRR8mwYeqVPECtL_1ccc8UPxKwNAPp-yhAGYTABnA4voDCkdjVDIeGdt7/w640-h474/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.39.57.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXWc4lLw3X6PO260moqE84LpVuDG6okU-uGAzkRbN89gG0x6Gu9HjXyRwn2J2F0_pF47v62x3mhkQYGMfeNsC4QYJvMqeyk76SwL7d2Ux6Y2b1RIDN2kMhSlbIyWAe4p0V28ZmHXaIm2Pf/s963/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.36.52.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="730" data-original-width="963" height="486" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXWc4lLw3X6PO260moqE84LpVuDG6okU-uGAzkRbN89gG0x6Gu9HjXyRwn2J2F0_pF47v62x3mhkQYGMfeNsC4QYJvMqeyk76SwL7d2Ux6Y2b1RIDN2kMhSlbIyWAe4p0V28ZmHXaIm2Pf/w640-h486/Screenshot+2020-09-24+14.36.52.png" width="640" /></a></div><br /><div style="text-align: left;">Maybe, just maybe, when you go on Facebook blasting abortion and the people who make the decision to abort, you might want to think about the amount of shaming you do and maybe take a little bit of responsibility for the fact that women feel ashamed and judged when they become pregnant in certain situations. Maybe abortion is that person’s way of hiding their predicament so that you don’t judge or shame them. It actually makes you a player in the decision. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Where do Democrats and Liberals fall on this subject? We (obviously I cannot speak for everyone but I think I know my people pretty well) just want people to have legal and safe access to this procedure should a person decide it is the best interest of their mental and physical health to have an abortion. We do not want to kill babies any more than the next person. It’s not about that. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I’ll give you a scenario. What if you have a mother of 5 children pregnant with a 6th child, who has been told by a doctor that she will die if she gives birth. The decision is in her hands. She can choose the birth of the child or death of a mother of 5 children. Does she die and leave 5 children motherless or does she abort and continue to raise her other 5 children? I can tell you I do not want a court to decide this nor do I want to decide it for her. I want her to have access to a safe and legal procedure if and when she makes that decision.
You can give me all the scenarios where a person chooses to abort and I’ll still say the same thing. If I’m not walking in the shoes, I don’t make the decisions and neither should anyone else be able to. </div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">If you believe in God like you say you do, you should know you’ll never be able to kill a person God has not intended to die. You don’t choose that. You cannot abort a baby whose life is supposed to be carried on outside of the womb.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Why did I take time out to research this subject and write about it here? I wanted to show you that you have been fooled. I wanted to tell you that when you decide how to vote based on abortion, you are being used by people who want you to vote against your best interest and they use this hot button issue to persuade you. Ask yourself why the party that ushered in abortion, has had the majority vote on the Supreme Court since the fate of abortion was decided, has done nothing in almost 50 years to change it? Because they use it against you. That is the plan and simple truth. If they make this change they will have nothing left to keep you sidetracked but guns. And again they've been telling you that Democrats are coming to get your guns and we've had 16 to 20 years of democratic presidency in your life and you still have your guns. You need to start asking yourself why billion dollar corporations pay no tax while you pay a large portion of your check towards taxes. Maybe just start there. They've got you looking over there at guns and abortion while they are over here robbing you blind. This is a very important election and it's time you did some research on your own and stop listening to everything you hear.</div></div>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-46396127986104176262020-08-19T09:05:00.005-05:002020-08-19T09:12:18.294-05:00Summer Vacation<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="360" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/446866942" title="vimeo-player" width="640"></iframe></div> <p style="text-align: left;">You'll note it doesn't look like I was on this trip but if you pay attention to what I had my attention on, then you'll know I was all in and absorbing every minute. We had an amazing time. This was the first beach trip I've had where we mostly stayed in, played games and just enjoyed each others company. I want to share some of the games we played because I think you might like them too. </p><p style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B06XZ9K244/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_6btpFbY9X8Y76">Skyjo</a></p><p style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0778X7GNL/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_kdtpFb8HD0P">Hygge</a></p><p style="text-align: left;"><a href="https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00T0GYEGG/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_wetpFbTSZQ88R">Bocci</a></p><p style="text-align: left;">You can read more about them on the purchase links. We had a ball with all of them. Skyjo quickly became our new favorite card game. </p><p style="text-align: left;">The video is mostly live photos. I hope you like it.</p>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-60144167688530007212020-07-23T09:30:00.003-05:002020-07-23T10:25:00.277-05:00{ }<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-LX7KoJfNWiyJGuyiNWCXXpyf_1jVgR1Gz0-HYUudNJhmBAyQn7nNkZDKpmtQRZ5aDqGphnWpWwt9HHVbOnni0wKjDuYVaZvSP7hMmsK5DfXr5KL_PYOZd0AZZUcdnKVwJAxdW7QQVJ1F/s1600/50112442226_fcaa7bb998_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-LX7KoJfNWiyJGuyiNWCXXpyf_1jVgR1Gz0-HYUudNJhmBAyQn7nNkZDKpmtQRZ5aDqGphnWpWwt9HHVbOnni0wKjDuYVaZvSP7hMmsK5DfXr5KL_PYOZd0AZZUcdnKVwJAxdW7QQVJ1F/s640/50112442226_fcaa7bb998_o.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
If you could be granted one thing, no limit and no strings attached what would you wish for? I did some thinking about this and immediately I could vision a picnic that included everyone in the world. In my vision we were all basking in the sun on blankets or dancing around and sharing all of our food. Everyone was wearing the most original clothes and really showing up exactly as the person they are, without any mind paid to what anyone would think. Everyone was happy, healthy and at peace.<br />
<br />
When I think about this it only makes me wonder what you could want with your one wish if you are not really in to this picture I have painted. I wondered if I told you about this, if you could see it too. Is there any part of the picture you have trouble with? Is there any part you’d rather leave out?<br />
<br />
Let us talk about the opposites you could think of regarding this picture. Do you have a problem going to a picnic? Do you have a problem with including everyone no matter the color of their skin? Do you have a problem sitting in the sun, on a blanket, dancing around or sharing your food? Do you have a problem with people showing their individual style that may not be something you’d wear? Do you have a problem with everyone being happy, healthy and at peace?<br />
<br />
Let us just say that maybe you don’t want any part of it. Let us paint a picture of that. You stand alone or just with the people you deem worthy to be at a function with you. You don’t share anything and everyone you know is wearing a uniform that you approved. Everyone acts according to what you have approved and you spend your time writing up a list of people you think should get to be happy, healthy and at peace. Then you decide what should happen to everyone you leave off your list. <br />
<br />
I think this last version may just be closer to the way we actually live right now. People have a really hard time trying to imagine trying to include everyone. <br />
<br />
Paint a picture in your mind of the perfect world and what that looks like to you. If it leaves anyone out, I pretty sure we have a problem. I’m pretty sure that is why you see people in the streets fighting to be included. Imagine what it would be like if you were that person being left out or what if it was someone you love that was being left out? <br />
<br />
One last thing and I’ll go. I think you can sum up all the world's problems if you never made anyone feel left out. Maybe, just maybe, it is a feeling of being left out that is the root of all pain and not to compare the two groups but in some extreme cases, it is the root of all hate. <br />
<br />
Work on your picture until it includes everyone and we can be the architects of a new earth.<br />
<br /></div>
SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-40861435536406206432020-06-18T21:10:00.001-05:002020-06-18T21:31:47.252-05:00thoughts and lessons learned<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Here is one morsel that I think took me a long time to get. For a long time, I couldn’t understand how someone wouldn’t be honored if you used an image of their ancestors. I guess I didn’t understand because my ancestors were white and never in this country were they persecuted for the color of their skin or raped and pillaged because another ethnic group wanted what was under their feet or the use of their body to aid in the gaining of riches.<br />
<br />
I’m not going to call out the store because if they started getting threats, I’d feel terrible about it but I have shopped at a store whose clothing line I adore. And even though I do love the clothes they sell, I’ve always had an uneasy feeling when I’d see them use images of Native Americans on the tees, shirts and dresses. They also use the Dalai Lama and Gandhi. Sometimes I’d wonder if this very blonde designer was some part Native American and it was so diluted I just cannot see it. I have to say she always makes the sweetest and most inclusive posts in her feed when it comes the words she chooses to share but the only images of people of color are stock photos and nothing that seems personal. My feed is the same way because I don’t live in a diverse area. I could even concede that to her since I’m not sure where it is that she lives. The problem I’m having is that she makes money from the imagery of people of color but doesn’t seem to employee anyone not white. It could be that she gives large sums of money from the sale of a $200 tee shirt to organizations that benefit POC but they didn’t say that when I contacted them. Is it my business? Only if I still want to support this brand by purchasing from it. Then I need to know where my money goes.<br />
<br />
When this huge awakening started to happen with the death of George Floyd, I decided I had to say something. So, I sent them a direct message on Instagram and I hoped their answer might be that there was something there that I wasn’t seeing. It wasn’t. I’ll tell you what happened. I sent this exact message:<br />
<br />
"Are people of color part of this company or do you just use their imagery to make money? I hope so but I don’t really see it here. Please tell me I’m wrong. I love what you do. I just hope there is more to it than words."<br />
<br />
This is the message I got back via email:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
” Just hoping you had seen this photo shoot too.<br />
<br />
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<br />
We can all do more and we must, I wish you only peace and happiness, and to all sentient beings. ----- -----, our designer, tries not to make political statements, as they can quickly stray from the mission of love of the company because they can easily be misconstrued in some way, but I hope you know she is in pain right now along with the rest of the world. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
The pain she or I or any white person feels right now can never compare to the pain black, brown, and indigenous people of color have felt over the many years our country and actually our whole world have been sick, but do know there are many compassionate beings who are extremely sensitive, myself included, that in some way practice to try our hardest to relate to that pain at the deepest level. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Even the people who don’t care about this matter are in pain at a deep level because they are disconnected from their fellow humans by something as superficial as the way another human appears, they may not know what that pain is or know how to relate, but all human beings are suffering from our deluded ways. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
All love to you, please God may the pain in this world quickly be alleviated by a massive change in the mentality of the human race towards unity and freedom and justice for ALL.</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Please share in any way your thoughts or questions.<br />
You may have blocked this email so I am also going to send it from my personal email because I want with every fiber of my being for you to feel heard, and myself to be heard too.”</blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
XO</blockquote>
<br />
I know, that is beautiful and I’m so happy they are on the right side of this but I couldn’t let it go. So, I wrote back:<br />
<br />
Thanks for responding. I believe everything you said in the email. I know it is hard for everyone. The thing is, that photo is 2 years old according to the title. I wouldn't be as bothered by it if the company didn't use so much imagery from people of color, donned by very white people. I don't mean to offend any of you but I did want to express to you how many people probably see this. I don’t believe anyone could post some of the sweetest of words that your company posts and not have goodness in their heart but the stock photos of black people are not a good look for any company that had a photo shoot with a person of color 2 years ago. That could look like your intent is to look diverse while not really being diverse. I sent the message in private for a reason. I didn’t want what I said to make people come after you. I just wanted to quietly and discreetly tell you what I see when I look at the feed. I know for myself I will be trying to spread my love to reaches it has not been before. The only person of color in my Instagram feed is my son because our community is 98% white. I know for me; I can no longer let that be an excuse for not doing better.<br />
<br />
I wouldn’t block you. I’m trying to not block anyone right now when it comes to these conversations. The few times I’ve said anything, I’ve just tried to state my feelings and then wait to see what happens in the future. I’d love to see all businesses invite the voices (and faces) of people of color to the table and just see what blooms. That’s how we can change the world. It’s not really about trying to anticipate what the path might be to make this company appear a certain way but to ask “What would you like from our brand? How can we include you?”<br />
<br />
I really sincerely thank you for taking the time to email me. That means a lot.<br />
<br />
Then I got one last email before I completely gave up:<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Thank you too for responding. It’s true that photo is older, we wanted to employ her to do the photos on our webstore too, but she had moved to New York by then to pursue modeling, happy for her. Growing up in ------ I’m so thankful I was exposed to diversity.<br />
Our world is in so much pain and I truly hope all of this coming to the surface can lead to the true end of segregation. And I do hope in our next photo shoot we are able to include more color.<br />
Much love to you!</blockquote>
They just didn't get it. Maybe I was not direct enough. So, I guess the plan is tokenism. Again, they will try to appear diverse without being diverse. I’m still hoping they wrote a big fat check on every sell to the Native American Rights Fund or that they will stop profiting off POC whose ancestors their ancestors slaughtered.<br />
<br />
What have I learned? It is not an honor for the very people whose ancestors murdered your ancestors to use your image or the image of your ancestors for profit and still do nothing about the way you have been historically left out.<br />
<br />
When people say, “you listen to our music, you copy our dance, you copy our hair, you copy our style, you love everything we put out into the world but you still don’t love us” I get it. I finally get it. I didn't always. So, I'm still holding out hope for those who still don't.<br />
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SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-2523797112380091182020-06-01T13:57:00.003-05:002020-08-28T15:01:51.543-05:00perspective<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdERiCJ_BImUDnK0TMXoinSm3Y0Vgd-j017uAAfqXkbCvRKL0KmOf7cUYL-DKI3bKCKlWJ7eTsNOVBvpMkf-nGY5R1n0Q6wUESe54a75IEYZO_IcdjmdB8iAg0AeyzlIb_rx90A2upy9AF/s1280/thumbnail_IMG_7469.jpg" style="display: block; padding: 1em 0px; text-align: center;"><img alt="" border="0" data-original-height="1280" data-original-width="960" height="600" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdERiCJ_BImUDnK0TMXoinSm3Y0Vgd-j017uAAfqXkbCvRKL0KmOf7cUYL-DKI3bKCKlWJ7eTsNOVBvpMkf-nGY5R1n0Q6wUESe54a75IEYZO_IcdjmdB8iAg0AeyzlIb_rx90A2upy9AF/s600/thumbnail_IMG_7469.jpg" /></a></div>
I’ve been taking an online class with a large group of
individuals and reading everyone’s journal notes on Facebook has brought my
attention to how important it is to try to understand perspective. Why did they
want to tell this story? Why are some people moved by it an other’s not? Why
can one comment feel like judgement to some and to others seem like tenderness?
Understanding how vastly different our needs can be and how our different experiences
shaped our perspectives so widely, is the beginning to shifting trauma. Sometimes
the sweetest comments can be taken as a slight simply because you might be
seeing it with the mindset that you are being judged or faulted. An innocent smile
can feel like you are being laughed at. When these things happen, you can leave
the other person feeling like they did something wrong, even when they were
innocent and now you both feel wrong. Sometimes you need the how’s and why’s spelled out for you just so
you know how a situation arrived in the direction it went. That is when you see
the innocence and understand that your past traumas (no matter the size) may
have influenced how you saw the incident go down. Sometimes before you pull
away all hurt without asking for answers, maybe ask for them. Tell your truth
and let others know when you are feeling insecure and give them the chance to
walk in this valley with you. There is sunshine on the other side. Say, “I
feel like I may have read something into this that is not there” or “I may be misinterpreting
your intentions, can you walk me through how this went down?”. It is okay to do
that. Sometimes we all need clarification and a little extra love. People who
matter in your life won’t care to do this for you. If you do this, next
time you may find you have had a shift in perspective and had a breakthrough.
SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-124718907729126372020-03-02T13:59:00.000-06:002020-03-04T10:50:55.468-06:00Why I am a Democrat/Why I am not a Republican<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
I recently found <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Gungor">Michael Gungor</a>. He wrote a book called <a href="https://www.amazon.com/This-Becoming-Free/dp/B07QY4VJDQ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=7ZWFS3F73U00&keywords=michael+gungor+this&qid=1583159742&sprefix=michael+gungor+%2Caps%2C170&sr=8-1&pldnSite=1">This: Becoming Free</a> that is amazing. I would suggest it to anyone who is in the throes of self-discovery. Michael also has a few podcasts and I’ve been listening to one called <a href="https://theliturgists.com/podcast">The Liturgist</a> and this particular episode stood out to me. In this show they speak with <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Rollins">Peter Rollins</a> regarding how we feel that the problems we face are caused by some person outside ourselves. He talks about methods they’ve used in Ireland to bring people together who are often opposed to each other.<br />
<br />
One of the things he spoke on was sitting people down and letting them tell each other why they are the way they are (example: Democrat) and then they allow that same person to say what they believe about the other (example: Republican). He said the process is a way to make the two sides understand why they think like they think. That makes so much sense to me, so I thought I’d speak it into the ether and see how it shakes out. I know for people to sit down like this and get to level of vulnerability that it would take, is asking a lot of people but I’m ready to get vulnerable.<br />
<br />
I want to point out one more thing from my understanding of what he said that might make this more meaningful. He said that the way we believe about a subject has been formed by our experience to it. If you grew up in foster care you might have a different opinion about who can adopt than someone who grew up in a home with both parents. If you’ve experienced loss at the hands of gunman you might have a different opinion about who can own guns. So, if I’m a Democrat my ideas about what that means may be different than what you, as a Republican, might perceive. Let’s keep that in mind as I unwrap this package.<br />
<br />
Why am I a Democrat?<br />
<br />
I’ll be honest and say first, I was raised that way. My grandfather, who was one of the strongest, most loving, trustworthy and disciplined persons I’ve ever known, was a Democrat. I can tell you without a doubt in my mind he would have never voted for the current president if he’d been alive to do so. I can tell you all the reasons he was a Democrat and why he believed the way he did but I’ll just tell you mine. I believe that all people are equal. Now, I know that my party does not always treat people as such, but I do believe for the most part they have a better track record than the opposing party in the time we are in. They try to enact laws that protect people who are not always white, straight and male. I know that can be a loaded statement, but you only must look at the history of this country to see that the white straight male has never had to fight for any right he enjoys now because they were written into the Constitution and early amendments. <br />
<br />
Women had to fight to be treated equal and it’s something we still struggle with throughout the world. At one time if a woman did not have a man to care for her she had to find a home that would keep her or stay in abuse to keep her family from starving. This happened to my grandmother. Her mother stayed under the roof with a husband that molested her children and brought other women into the home to have sex with him. He claimed to be a Christian and went to church. The family sharecropped and he enjoyed their efforts without contribution. Could they have sharecropped without him. No, that was not the way deals were made back then. The man was in charge. My husband Bryan’s grandmothers both ended up in a home being cared for in exchange for their work because they did not have husbands. Women back then were just used for birthing farmhands, cooking, sewing and housekeeping. <br />
<br />
I cannot speak for people of color, but our country has an ugly history of giving no love to people who are not white. Our history books only skim the surface of the story of people of color but only so much as to tell the literal white-washed version. They never tell the effects of what we’ve done as a country to nonwhite human beings or even to for a second make it look like white America has been the bad guy. Thomas Jefferson owned more than 600 people during his life, and some were children he fathered by his slaves. He wrote that men were equal but that was just his words not his actions.<br />
<br />
I know you’ll point out to me that Abraham Lincoln was a Republican. I know he was a Republican and if I felt like what he did represented the modern-day Republican party I’d be one of them, but they consistently make laws that do not usher in equality. <br />
<br />
I also know Bill Clinton is responsible for the incarceration of more people including black males than any other country. I don’t forgive that. It’s wrong. I do believe if this is ever corrected it will be a Democrat that will do it. Here’s why I believe that. Since the last Bush was in office hardly anything Democrats bring to the floor sees the light of day because of the Republican held senate. No matter how hard Democrats have tried to do the right thing they cannot get one thing done because they are in the minority, but they've tried.<br />
<br />
The last time the Democrats held the senate was 1995. Since Democrats last lost control, we have been in the war in Afghanistan, which is the longest war in US history and was started by a Republican. If you look it won’t take you long to see all the lives lost, mistakes made, and money lost for a war we will never win.<br />
<br />
As long as I’ve been voting the Republicans have held themselves up to be the moral police and I’m speaking from own my perspective, the only way I see their morality is in words, not actions. I see a Republican man who, not only paid for an abortion but threatened the person who had the abortion about what he would do to her if she didn’t have it and now he's on Facebook raging against abortion on a near daily basis. I also know that the stats for people who have abortions are overwhelmingly people who consider themselves Christian. Look it up. I see church people walking past the homeless and looking the other way. I see church people praising a man that has raped, abused and fondled women, who abuses drugs and incites rage and violence against minorities. I had a friend tell me that his family has a book on their coffee table called The Faith of Donald Trump. This is a man who does not know scripture or even how to quote chapter and verse and people believe he is a man of faith. He once said “two Corinthians” like it’s two people and not the second chapter of the book. Anyone whose been in church knows how to quote chapter and verse. He has been married 3 times and each new marriage came out of adultery. Republicans believe he was sent by God and there are actual photos of him with Jeffery Epstein all over the web. I mean come on!<br />
<br />
Every time I see the KKK/Alt Right on TV it is in support of Republicans. Every time I see someone commit mass murder on my TV they are affiliated with the Republican party. Do I believe that Republicans want to own this? No, I do not but it is obvious to me that the belief system of this party seems to create this wrong headedness or at the least, attracts the people with these beliefs. I cannot be part of that. <br />
<br />
Another thing that will assure I’m never a Republican, is corporate welfare. Why do people despise welfare for the poor but find it completely okay to let billion-dollar businesses hide money so that they pay no tax at all, while the rest of us give up 11% of our paychecks to federal taxes. <br />
<br />
Now, as I write this I see how so much of what I say about being a Republican crosses over the line into the same issues I have with Democrats. I know that they are a lot of times two sides of the same coin. Democrats have their flaws. If any politician can take money from big business they’ll always act on their behalf and not the will of the people. I know that Bernie doesn’t take money from big business and when he’s gotten donations from them he has donated them to charity. I want money out of politics. I want religion out of politics. If people use religion in politics they are exploiting people, who might have good intentions, for their own gain. That is the reason for separation of Church and State.<br />
<br />
I also have a problem with our government operating like there is only one religion and using the judgement of religious inequality as it’s springboard into disenfranchising whoever they don’t agree with. I think if people who are Christian ever experience the shoe on the other foot they wouldn’t be comfortable with it at all. They would finally feel what it’s like to have a government that acts on behalf of one religion when religion was clearly meant to be left out of government issues. <br />
<br />
I have a real big problem with all the laws that Republicans have tried to pass to govern the LGBT because of religion and nothing else. These are people just like you and unless you are governing straight white males in the same way, no law should be on the books limiting who a person is.<br />
<br />
I abhor guns. I don’t think anyone realistically needs one unless they use it to hunt. You cannot probably even imagine how anyone could feel that way if you are a Republican, but I’ll tell you. I’m not a coward, bully or someone who believes I can control death. I don’t think I need to assert some sort of power by walking around with a gun on my hip. That person is a weak person and full of fear. All bullies are weak Weakness is what they are trying to cover by being a bully. If you believe you can control death by any means then you must think you are a God. You will never be able to stop a car wreck that takes someone’s life if their fate is to die in an auto accident. You will never be able resuscitate someone if it’s their time to die. You will never shoot your way out of death if your fate is to die at gunpoint. You can own every gun, millions of bullets and be an expert marksman and it still will not matter. You do not get to decide when death will occur. So, stop acting like you can. <br />
<br />
If you are keeping count I’m a Democrat because I believe in, keeping religion and money out of politics, not enacting any law that limits a person from existing, treating all people equal, assuring all people have access to medical care that does not leave them bankrupt and looking at what we can do that makes sense about guns used to commit mass murder.<br />
<br />
I’m not a Republican because I believe that they want to make laws that cause people to have to live the Christian expectation, though I don’t believe even they do. I think they believe it is more important how people perceive them and less about who they really are. That is why they use the bible to judge gay people and how they should live but give no mind to making laws that limit what you can do after you have committed adultery. They use the bible to judge everyone else but not to see the beam in their own eye. I don’t believe spirituality is an old man in the sky that wants to strike people dead if they disobey, that all should conform and have no individuality and that there is one way to wake up your soul. I believe our government should be unbiased and not govern based on what affects them as individuals but how their laws effect all people. Also, I want the government to be about the people and not about corporations. I believe the NRA can kiss my ass with all their fear mongering. <br />
<br />
Wow, that was all over the map and not a clear division of how I feel about being a Democrat verses what I think a Republican is. That’s why I tried to clear it up at the end. I also noticed while I wrote how some of what I was saying sounded like both parties and felt I had to clear that up. I probably should have made links and been clear about every issue I raised but in this I piece I’m just trying to do it off the top of my head without looking up backup info. <br />
<br />
If the truth were told, I’d say I do not like our government and I’d really love to do away with politics altogether and trust people to be decent human beings. I hope someday there will be a time for that. <br />
<br />
If you made it to the finish line I appreciate you reading. I hope you weren't offended but I'm not at all sure that is possible given the way that conservative people seem to hate the word liberal. So, that's my take. Feel free to write your own piece and share it with me. I don't need your attacks here. This is my space to share and if you don't like what I say you should make your own space to speak your truth. I'm just not going to open this up for people to attack my point of view because I have a right to it just as you do.</div>
SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-69163593550438843992020-02-24T10:01:00.001-06:002020-02-24T11:53:31.292-06:00yawn and stretch and try to come to life<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<div class="MsoNormal">
My body, mind and soul have seen fit to see me live more
than half of hundred without anything I have to take meds for, and my body keeps
acting just like it always has. Not being a brand-new babe, I’ve had time to
learn, grow and question. So, when I consider what I know now that I didn’t
know then and what of it I’d like to pass on to those who are still in the then
of their own lives, it’s a lot but it’s also simple. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is nothing in the realm of existence that decides if
you are happy or not. You get to decide that. There is nothing in the realm of
existence that decides if you are a good person or a bad person. You get to
decide that. There is nothing in the realm of existence that judges you. You
get to do that or not do that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know that most of you have been raised to think there is a
God that handles those things, but you are your own God. It says it even in
your Bible. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What I know now can be told with the story from the movie The
Matrix. Most people throughout the world have been washed in some form of
man-made religion. Those in charge have always tried to figure out the best way
to control you and your life is encoded with it. Just like in The Matrix, you are
asleep to any other possibility simply because you know no other exists. You
are scared to even entertain the thought of any other existence because that
fear has been encoded too so that you are afraid to wake up. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you could do one thing for yourself, do this. Get up one
day and live like no God, person, rule or country exists. I know you will see
others and that is okay. Just live like they are part of separate planet whose rules,
people and beliefs you are unaware of. Just know you can just be happy, calm
and unjudged the whole day. Nothing you’ve done in the past that made you feel
like a bad person can hurt you and nothing you can do in the future can hurt
you. You have one day off from being judged by yourself, others and God.
Everything you are supposed to be, you already are. You are perfect. If this
feels right to you stretch it out to another day and keep it up as long as it
feels good. If you are successful you will be awake for the first time ever and
you will recognize the code that has always surrounded you and it will lose its
power.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
You cannot be anyone or anything you are not supposed to be.
Who and what you are is not an accident. <o:p></o:p></div>
<br /></div>
SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-22771386196091729522020-01-01T00:01:00.000-06:002020-02-19T13:34:49.303-06:00Yes, But Why?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVArVxo61xKQISoWg64dQrd_HZrFkE2Z1wIRSejk2QvIXmJUc_PkfigVGNdyQqHUIkNrwc6q2TJDWcLbu0Rfrcx982ZjZacJPSju8wMKWekDXe42xSMJxASE0Evtp_guvkSWY53Q228LK0/s1600/thumbnail_ACS_0032.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="960" data-original-width="1280" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVArVxo61xKQISoWg64dQrd_HZrFkE2Z1wIRSejk2QvIXmJUc_PkfigVGNdyQqHUIkNrwc6q2TJDWcLbu0Rfrcx982ZjZacJPSju8wMKWekDXe42xSMJxASE0Evtp_guvkSWY53Q228LK0/s640/thumbnail_ACS_0032.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We have spent our individual lives learning all the rules. I’m not sure that there is one rule we don’t know for wherever we are, whoever we are and whatever time we are there. We know them damn rules by heart, body, mind and soul. What we don’t know is who decided and why they decided. So, I’m suggesting to you that we get real about it. Every time we find ourselves struggling to maintain the rules or maybe knowing the rule doesn’t make sense but trying to live by it anyway, let’s ask ourselves, “Yes, but why?”</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We believe that chemical medicine will heal us even when the commercial rattles off all the ways it can fail us including death, because we’ve been taught that is the only way and have completely stopped believing in the intelligence our own bodies and the intuition held within. Using chemical medicine is the most excepted way of healing. Yes, but why? Finding healing straight from nature like the old ways, not well received. Yes, but why?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We believe that when someone is different than we are, that the difference is wrong because it’s against our own nature or looks different than we look. If someone not like us isn’t wrong, then that might mean we are wrong. We just cannot allow others to be who they are. Yes, but why?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We believe in trends and dress codes when we consider how we should look. If someone steps outside what we consider to be the rules on how we should look, we think that is wrong. It would be frowned on if we wore a prom dress to work accept for on Halloween. Yes, but why?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">We believe a book that tells stories of rape, genocide, child murder and severe punishment for the slightest things like talking back to a parent, gathering wood on Sunday, eating shellfish and thinkin’ your neighbor is cute, all commanded/handed down by a “white bearded man in the sky.” Yes, but why?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Those rules are there for a reason. Those rules stop us from accepting one another, they keep us fighting and hating just so our attention is on our perceived enemy so that we don’t ever notice that we are all the same. We are each a part of a whole, our own little piece of what collectively is humanity. When we make others wrong it makes us feel like what we are is right. Our media outlets, politicians and preachers will stop getting rich if we ever become convinced that we are all equal. They are all part of those who tell us the rules and we invest fully thinking there will be some payout to keep following the rules, we never stop waiting on it and the payout never comes.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">It is up to you to wake up. If you try just a little, you will see what we’ve been encoded in and you’ll be your own effin’ Neo.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Yes, but why?</span></div>
</div>
SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-43587005602627847372019-11-13T01:00:00.000-06:002019-11-13T01:00:07.583-06:00just this:<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEics3GF37OliToQAM90RVe3nGIYa3cKbJ8774kk7_4qcj6WsiUZhPLiP4rZ-T6ZRa4pwwbTvR3XQwu6qAVAMO-SkBScTrx7Be94xWEa9_goT8tsdkYjqwc01WfERnsDA1UYUF4uSfZKDUFC/s1600/49054247092_702a12fcc7_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="954" data-original-width="969" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEics3GF37OliToQAM90RVe3nGIYa3cKbJ8774kk7_4qcj6WsiUZhPLiP4rZ-T6ZRa4pwwbTvR3XQwu6qAVAMO-SkBScTrx7Be94xWEa9_goT8tsdkYjqwc01WfERnsDA1UYUF4uSfZKDUFC/s320/49054247092_702a12fcc7_o.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-42089666827406095512019-11-12T10:06:00.001-06:002020-01-20T12:30:47.650-06:00Please Go Read This Post<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
Lissa Rankin has written <a href="https://lissarankin.com/5-miracles-to-open-your-mind-heart-to-whats-possible?inf_contact_key=fc1e9790d68a45af4582c0d0a4e7d0faf651f238aa2edbb9c8b7cff03e0b16a0#target">this amazing post</a> called<br />
<br />
<h1 class="entry-title" style="background: rgb(0, 0, 0); border: 0px; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 1.1364; margin: 0px 0px 7px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline; width: 509.984px;"><a href="https://lissarankin.com/5-miracles-to-open-your-mind-heart-to-whats-possible?inf_contact_key=fc1e9790d68a45af4582c0d0a4e7d0faf651f238aa2edbb9c8b7cff03e0b16a0#target"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">5 Miracles To Open Your Mind & Heart To What’s Possible</span></a></h1><div><br />
</div><div>Please click on that link and read it. It might change your world.</div><br />
<br />
<br />
</div>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-10088473795856787502019-11-11T17:14:00.000-06:002019-11-11T17:15:47.189-06:00I just need to post to move on<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<br />
It's time to move that last past down.<br />
<br />
How are things going with you? Well, for me, I'm sitting right there on the verge. I can sense it but I'm not sure what 'IT' is. Could it be that I'm about to find that thing that helps me to move more into who I am.? Or the thing that allows me to quit my current job and move into a job more aligned with where I currently am in my growth. I just know the wheels are turning. I keep getting signs. Maybe I just need to work a little more on goals and shifting towards them. I feel good even though I am having a little anxiety I have to work through on occasion. If you ever need some exercises to help you get through bouts of anxiety I think I've got some tricks up my sleeve. Just ask, I'm more than willing to share.<br />
<br />
Okay that's about it because anything else I could get into right now might require more time than I have before I take my baked sweet potato out of the oven and have my diner. I'll get back here soon. I have lots to talk about.<br />
<br />
One last thing, I hope you like the new look of the blog. That photo is kinda old now. It is a picture I took at Granny Lucy's when it still looked like it did when she was alive. I just didn't want to forget it. This was a picture I took of the table by her bed. You can see the green bedpost on the right side. The green is so peaceful and soothing to look at. It makes me happy. Hope it does you too.<br />
<br />
PeAcE</div>
SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-36152155051752819042019-10-24T15:51:00.000-05:002019-10-26T09:39:30.109-05:00Goodbye<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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I’m gonna tell you a little story. It’s partly for me and for you in case you are in a similar situation but mostly for my brother that I love so much.<br />
<br />
My parents split when I think I was 3 but we’ll say that cause it’s close enough. We saw my dad a few times but not much. He took us fishing once (if my baby memory is correct), road us in the truck he drove to pick up milk once or twice, took us to the lake with my mom once because she convinced him she’d take him back if he paid for the divorce she needed from the man she cheated on him with (the man that kicked me down the hallway if I got in his way), and he bought us twin (but boy/girl versions) bikes for Christmas. Oh, and we went and stayed a few times with him at Granny and Granddaddy’s. That is what I remember about him before we moved to Tennessee from Georgia with my other Granddaddy and Grandmother when I was five. We maybe went back to Georgia to stay with him at our grandparents house a few times after that, but it wasn’t much.<br />
<br />
It was decided that we would spend half the summer with him the year I turned 9 and Joey turned 10. This plan was to continue every summer, that would give us a way to see him every year. So, the year I turned 10 we decided the day, packed our bags and waited for his arrival. I feel like we took our suitcases to the porch and back in a few dozen times that day. I remember sitting by mine on the porch and then taking it back in to check the time multiple times. We tried calling many times that day but thought he wasn’t answering because he was on his way. Late in the afternoon my stepmom Jean finally answered, and she said Daddy had changed his mind, they weren’t coming, and he didn’t feel like talking to us.<br />
<br />
I did not speak to my Dad again until I was graduating high school. He would not come to the phone if we called and he did not call us. I didn’t care that he’d missed everything. I didn’t care that he left me with a mother that allowed my stepfather to come into the bathroom to watch me bathe after I had grown breast and had to tell my grandparents to get it stopped. I didn’t care that he left me with this man that spanked me every day before I went to bed the years I was 10 and 11. I didn’t care that he left me to have to worry everyday while I was at school about what I would accidentally do that would get me those spankings. I didn’t care that he left me with the man that kicked me down the hall. I didn’t care that he left me with the mother that wished so hard that we were all grown up and gone so she could finally be happy. I just knew that there was a daddy out there somewhere that probably didn’t love me because I wasn’t lovable. I wished that he knew how awesome I’d become despite the spankings, kicks and pervy bathroom viewings. I just needed to show this to this superhuman that I knew had to be the most awesome person on earth because that is the way I dreamed him in my head during the years he was gone.<br />
<br />
I sent him an invitation to my graduation. He called my grandparents and got our number and made plans to be at my graduation. The evening of the graduation, moments before I was about to leave, he called to tell me he wouldn’t be coming. I told him it was fine that he couldn’t make it the night of because I’d be with my friends after it was over and if he came a few days later we’d have time together then. Then the m-effer flipped the script on me. He said, “so you were going to let me drive all that way and you didn’t have any intention of seeing me when it was over.” I learned over the years that this was how he handled everything. He was good at turning everything into “look what you did to me.” I cried my eyes out over this and I’d probably would have never stopped the whole ceremony if it hadn’t been for Sharon Billingsley who woke me up to realize that I hadn’t done anything wrong when she said, “that son of a bitch.” It allowed me to finally catch my breath. Until she made me understand who the bad guy was, I thought it was me. Super Daddy would love me if I wasn’t so unlovable right? Let’s retrace shall we. I had not laid eyes on this man or heard his voice until I graduated high school since I was 9 years old but now, he was mad at me because I was going to spend the night with my school friends after my graduation. He hadn’t seen or spoke to me in 8 years but now spending one evening with me was the most important thing on his list, well, that is, if he was actually going to show up but he wasn’t. So do the math on that. Man mad at 17-year-old child for doing what 17-year-old kids do when they graduate from high school because she would be blowing him off if he hadn’t decided he wasn’t coming. So, he is mad at me for not going straight to see him even though he isn’t going to be at the place I was suppose to go straight to see him. I know it’s complicated, but it comes much easier to understand once you’ve been through it a time or two.<br />
<br />
We finally had a relationship after I had my first son. We went to live with him for 7 months the year Lance turned 2 (he is 33 now). It was hard to live with someone so controlling but I think I might have stayed if I didn’t miss my family so much (especially Granddaddy). I worried about who was taking care of Trista and I think I had an emotional breakdown worrying over her while I was there. There were good things about it and bad. I’m going to tell you the good things.<br />
<br />
He did love me. He was so proud of me. He even learned to squeak out an I love you sometimes. He loved the shit out of Lance and Lance loved him too. I watched him so hard, always studying him to see what of me was also of him every time I was around and could. Even after I moved back to Tennessee and went back to visit, I studied him like he was a cell under a microscope. I had his broad shoulders. The man was a vitamin taker just like me. He loved to walk, and I loved to hike. He wanted to be healthy and did what a man could do that grew up like he grew up at the time he grew up to be that way. He loved babies. He was so good with them. I got such a charge out of watching that part of him. He was stinking funny. It was subtle. The kind of humor that must be followed by, “that was a joke.” The same humor I have. He was brutal with his honesty. I cannot even imagine him telling a lie. He wouldn’t be nice just to spare your feelings because that would be pretending he was something other than who he was. I’m the same way. I don’t know how you get that through DNA, but I did. I could see it so perfectly in him because it was in me like a clone or carbon copy. I understood this part of him and loved it so much.<br />
<br />
Over the years we had exchanges that left me the bad guy and always seemed to make him take the position that he was being used. The kids said Grandpa Joe always took them to buy a toy when he came and that meant they only cared about him for that one thing. I stopped to see him (at Bryan’s urging) on the way to the beach one time and he said I didn’t come to see him; I just needed a place to stay. It’s exactly what I told Bryan would happen and he said he would just be so glad to see me he wouldn’t care we would be leaving the next morning. Bryan told me he’d never ask me to go back there again after that. My sister’s kids were living with him and he gave her daughter to foster care to punish her and when I found out about it, it left me feeling abandoned all over again just as if his abandonment of her happened to me. It’s what finally made me give up on him. I did not know how to make him see that a baseball bat to the head would not make me stop loving him. I just decided to love him from my house and my state. I was just tired of the game he played were I ended up hurting him without doing a single thing but try to love him in whatever way he would let me. I don’t know what year it was the last time I looked at his face. It was at least a decade ago.<br />
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<br />
My Dad’s sister started corresponding with my brother recently telling him that he was sick. I thought about going but I could see how my stepmom would try to make me feel guilty and wrong if I did show up. I could see him getting upset and telling me that I just showed up when he was on his deathbed, so I could inherit whatever there is. I also thought about writing the story of it all like I’m doing here so he might see that I love him and that I could have shown him if he’d allow me to do it my way without him blaming me like he’d always done. I thought telling our story from my perspective might finally help him see his part in the ending of our relationship. I thought I’d send it through Facebook to my nephew Zach or stepmom Jean and see if they would give it to him and it could be our start to mend. The day (9-17-19) I was going two write to him I pulled an oracle card for guidance and it said to “forgive those people and situations you’ve been dragging around a while.” It asked, “What or whom do you need to release?” I took this as a sign that the forgiveness and the releasing this situation was on me and I told myself that letter was not supposed to be. What if he was so sick it crushed him to know the life he left me in for all those years and I also wondered if asking another family member to deliver it was fair to them. Do you tell someone you’d know how much I love you if it you didn’t make it so hard for me to show you while they are in the middle of dying?<br />
<br />
My brother gave up on him probably a decade before I did, and they had not spoken in years. Joey would avoid him if he came to visit when he still tried because he was hurt. You can read my story here but Joey has his own story and his own complicated feelings. I can tell you my story but not his because while I was cowering in my corner growing up trying to protect my own self, he was living his story that I did not have time to always pay attention to. We don't always get along, so I finally realized that including my dad when he didn’t, did not win me any points with him. I decided to follow his lead and if he changed his mind about him, I’d do what he wanted to do about our sick father. It's not Joey's fault I didn't go. It was my choice and this is how I decided to deal with it. Joey didn’t have 7 months of living under his roof at the age of 22. He didn’t get to see all the things that were our dad that are him too. There is so much. Joey never changed his mind. Daddy died this morning without us.<br />
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I know you probably think I’m tormented over that but I'm not. Joey might be but he shouldn’t be. Here’s why:<br />
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You won’t believe this because you did not grow up in a culture that supports this belief even though there are so many cultures that do. When we are born, we have a plan. We have a team. We’ve always been on that team. We determine what lessons we need to learn, how best to make that happen and what parts we will play in each other’s life to support it all. Maybe I’ll be your sister in this lifetime and next life I’ll be your father. Sometimes your life will be filled with pain and sickness to learn that lesson you chose before birth, sometimes it will all be happy and sometimes your job Is to help advance someone else on your team. You choose. Even when you seem like the bad guy you have made a choice to live in a way you may be hated or unloved just to advance yourself, some other soul or the souls of the whole team. Being the bad one may be the biggest sacrifice of anyone on your team.<br />
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Reincarnation cases have been studied by the thousands and hold up to scrutiny. People sometimes remember every detail of a past life and can remember details that can be traced back to their origin. It happens with children but if not given prompt attention over time they will forget. Sometimes they even remember their team and deciding on who will be their parent. Daddy was on my team and so is Joey.<br />
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I’ve learned when I cannot fix a relationship in the flesh, to do it through soul. This week I realized that my Dad might try to wait for me to finally show up for him and it hurt my heart thinking that he might. I talked to him through spirit Tuesday morning on my way to work in Lafayette drowning in tears. I told him, “Don’t wait on us. We aren’t coming.” I said, “When you go back to spirit you will finally realize how much I love you; you’ll see me, and you will feel it too.” I told him we will convene there and if he wanted to talk to me, I’d hear it. I told him if he wanted me to tell Joey anything, I’d hear that too and I’d convey the message. I can do that. It’s not the first thing I tell people I’m meeting the first time. It first happened when my Granddaddy (George) died and it’s happened a few times since. I cannot control it. I wish I could. I wish I was one of those people you could ask about your dead aunt and I’d get you answers but I cannot do it. It happens when it happens. He hasn’t spoke to me yet, but I can tell you this. He knows that I always loved him. I never expected him to be something he wasn’t. I let that go. I can accept he wasn’t the dad I thought I needed. We are good on this. No hard feelings.<br />
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Joey you are good with him too. Don’t ever feel bad. He loved you and he knows you love him too even if it was lost during this life. It was part of the plan that it would turn out this way. He taught our souls not to neglect the babes we brought into this world. He taught us to always be there for them. It was his job and he did it by showing us how it would feel to not have someone there for you and it ended with him learning that lesson for his self when at the end, we weren’t there for him.<br />
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He played his part, we played ours and I am thankful for this. I love him and cannot wait to team up with him again. Maybe next time we won’t have to be at odds with each other. Thank you, Daddy. Our love surpasses all time and dimensions. </div>
SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-57446059397702017372019-10-19T05:12:00.001-05:002020-01-20T14:03:42.913-06:00Dr. Joe Q&A - Emotions<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: center;" trbidi="on"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="370" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/0AsGxWFD7pk" width="680"></iframe><br />
One more and I'll go back to the regular program.</div>SoulPonyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16698723485611859704noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8640018027174740980.post-62342638289193634682019-10-19T05:03:00.001-05:002020-01-20T14:03:11.846-06:00HEAL: The Feeling Creates the Healing w/ Dr Joe Dispenza<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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