Friday, June 21, 2019

the face that loves

Never forget that person who makes you feel loved. They are the most important. When you search your life for love or even look for self-love, you can remember what it looks like in that face. The face that let you dance on his toes until you had his movements down, the face that smiled across the crowd when you were nervous and wondering how you were doing in your latest endeavor, the face that took you at 9 to get your ears pierced because he knew you wanted it, the face that was always there to support you and the only face in any picture of you as an infant. It's a love that is so pure, you may never know it again. It's the love you lack for yourself but draw inspiration from. It's the love that lets you know love is possible and that you deserve it and are worthy. It's the face you see when you look in the mirror that won't leave even after taking a last breath.

This is me with the sex change Snapchat filter. It's him.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Free Your Mind and The Rest Will Follow



We live in America, home of, you must try every day to meet some measure no one knows the sum of and land of, you'll never be good enough.

You know yourself that this is part of everyday life for any one LGBTQ+, non white and non male. It’s not like that just for these people, I know but we know the concentration is probably higher for them. It’s this way for everyone living in this country.

A big part of the problem is religion. We see it on our money, our monuments, our TV screens, bumper stickers, signs and in the way we speak. We are saturated with it. If you’ve ever for a moment entertained the idea of turning from religion, you know the weight of it. For some, that weight is heavier. If you pastor a church, grew up in a religious family, or attend church weekly you know the weight of it. The deeper the roots run and embed, the harder it is to walk away or think of walking away. You probably cannot do it. Most people don’t have the courage or strength.

How does this fear become so ingrained in who we are? It’s a cult like hold. The last person to know they are in a cult is someone in a cult. That is what religion is and what it’s designed to do. It’s designed to keep you in fear. That is how they keep you in the cult. They play on your fears and make you feel like they are the only thing that can fill you up in ways you lack on your own. You are not good enough but with us it doesn’t matter, because we can fill up the rest. If you don't feel any fear when you question your religion, then maybe you aren't in a cult.

If you are a religious person you fell for this. I bet if you are a religious person you might have thought about clicking off this post out of fear. If you haven’t clicked away, I bet you want to. You aren’t thinking for yourself. You think with the hive mind you’ve been taught to embrace.

If you want to get off the hamster wheel, there is only one thing you can do. Stop believing. You don’t have to do it for the rest of your life but stop and stop for a long while. There is one thing I can tell you as someone who has, it will be okay. It will not only just be okay; it will be mind-altering and amazing. If you cannot do this long term, do it for a day, a week or a month.

Here is what will happen. You will be free. You will learn. You will know things you were not previously capable of knowing. The first thing you will know for certain is there is nothing in the universe that will judge you or condemn you for going your own way. Your veil will be lifted. You will feel peace.

When you start to see and feel peace, you will extend it to others. You won’t be perfect, no but when you stop judging yourself, you won’t have as much need to judge anyone else.

We all strive so hard for the things that are important to us but for what? Do you truly think obtaining what you think you need will stop your need? Do you think there is a level at which your life becomes perfect?

How did we become a world of people who satisfaction is not possible? We can stop this right now. It’s ours to have. It doesn’t mean that we become complacent with the mundane but that we embrace self-love.

So, why don’t we just walk out right now into the world and look the first person we see in the eye and just breath and smile. “Hello Soul,” we’ll say in our heart and we know that we are the same and that is something beautiful that does not need to be filled up.

When it’s all said and done, you might embrace spirituality again but this time you can build it back up without the inherited ideas. You can choose every building block and stack them as you wish. If you don’t return, that is perfect too. You cannot do it wrong. Keep your mind and heart open and be moved as your spirit shows you.

Love peace and light.

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