Friday, October 16, 2015


What if you decided to like everyone you meet? What if you decided that you'd never let their differences divide the two of you? What if everyone you met liked you? What if they decided that they'd never let your differences divide the two of you?

Would we ever do it? Could we ever do it? If we could set aside fear then we could.

What if something happened that left you the last person on earth, would all of the things you worry about right now matter? Would it matter that people disagree with you? Would it matter that you disagree with others? Would the way people look or the color of their skin matter?

It only matters now because you are afraid. You're afraid of the future. You're afraid of your past. You are afraid that you are not lovable. You are afraid of God. You are afraid of evil. You're afraid of others. You are afraid of life. You are afraid of all of it because you mostly fear yourself. You fear that people might see the shadow of yourself that you cannot even love. If no one was around to see you go through life you could finally stand up straight and be who you truly are. You might be afraid of your future but your fear of others and what they think would go away. You might even want back a few of the people you didn't like before.

What if you decided to like everyone you meet? What if you decided that you'd never let their differences divide the two of you? What if everyone you met liked you? What if they decided that they'd never let your differences divide the two of you?

Exactly this.

Monday, October 12, 2015

name? title? income?

Recently I was filling out an online questionnaire that asked the usual personal questions like, age, job title, income and that sort of stuff. You know, the same old questions we've answered a thousand times. It's who we think we are and why wouldn't we think that? We've answered these questions A THOUSAND TIMES.

This time it occurred to me that I could answer any way I wanted. I didn't have to answer with facts. It amazed me when I thought about how before I had always be so careful to answer precisely. I don't know why. I started thinking about how, not only are the answers fact but also are equal to our self expectations. We go through life being exactly what we think we are capable of and not an ounce more. Most of us never shoot for the stars because we believe with such precision that we are what we fill out in these questionnaires, when in truth we could be whatever we want to be if we allow ourselves to reach beyond. If we cannot do it on a questionnaire then we probably cannot do it in life.

From now on, I'm gonna answer those questions affirming that I have already accomplished what I want from my future and that I have all of the money I could ever need.

You are probably thinking, "Why?" and I say "Why the hell not?" It worked for Jim Carrey when he wrote his self a $10,000,000 check when he was completely broke.

Going forward let's answer these things like our 6 year old self would have. That kid was the one that knew what they were doing. You don't have to lie, just dream big, like really big. So now answer this:

Name? Job Title? Household Earnings? 

Wednesday, October 7, 2015


Every time we gather and look to the women to cater to all the needs of others while the men lounge unaffected, that's a loss.Times are different folks. We are all grown people and should recognize that it's no more a woman's job than a man's.

If I go into a home where the women are all working and the men are lounging, I'm gonna lounge too. I'm not buying what's on sale. I know that there are task that are easier for one sex than the other but we can all wash a plate. We can all plate fruit and cheese. We can all clean the house. Don't expect anything of me. I'll not be meeting your expectations today.

A tiny bit of me dies when I hear people talk about how lazy the woman is in a home that's not clean when there's also a man living there. It is no more her responsibility than his.

I'll take up a commode and change the seal out. I'll take out an old faucet and replace it with a new one. I'll run a pressure washer, I run the hedge trimmer. I can do what we think of as dude stuff. I like to do a lot of it. In our home we trade out. No one is expected to perform based on gender. We both do what is needed.

I'm always going to write about equality here. It's just what I do. We are all equal. Maybe not equal in strength and endurance but equal none the less. If you want to see the strength of a woman, watch her give birth to a child. You will see strength beyond compare.

If you are a man reading this and you've not treated women as your equal start now. It will change your life.

If you are a woman reading this who has allowed herself to be treated less than men, hand him the broom and go sit down and prop your feet. You've probably be deserving of it for a long time. It will change your life.

Go over and read what Liz Morrow wrote about letting your tatas fly. Then if you are where you can, go outside with a cold Woodchuck Gumption, grab a seat and get some wind on those girls. 

Monday, October 5, 2015

daisies, baby deer, breath and all that is precious

B took me away this past weekend for my birthday that will be on Wednesday. The whole time we were away I just kept seeing so many beautiful things that reflected back to me something I’ve been marinating on lately.

Gosh, this is just a hard post to write. I don’t know why.

Sunday night we went to eat at a Vietnamese restaurant. It was packed and we had to wait outside about 30 minutes. This place drew people from all backgrounds. The people waiting ahead of us was a biracial couple. The woman was tiny and about as white as a white person gets and her husband was a small Hispanic man. They had two children. They were an amazing couple, just beautiful together. We also sat next to them and I watched the man take the smallest child out to change his diaper while the mother stayed behind with the older child. Their children were also beautiful.
While we waited a lesbian couple also joined the wait. They were so sweet and loving to each other, just the picture of young love. I loved seeing people cross over traditional gender roles. It makes one see that we can all be part without having to mold to stereotypical roles.

There were older couples, younger couples, as well as groups consisting of families and friends with varying colors of skin, all gathered just to share a meal. Eating at this place seemed to be a good representation of our society as a whole.

We all had a wonderful meal in our large group and in our own little individual pods. We were all so different when you looked at us on the outside but still so much the same at the level of heart.  

I know this seems woowoo to bring all this up but just being in these moments gave me a flicker of what life could be if we all just looked at each with love and kinship. If every person who walked before us was accepted just as they are, what miracles we could make. This gives me such a beautiful feeling.

Have you ever been outside as the sun was going down and felt the most perfect breeze blow across your skin? I think to that and know that this is what peace feels like. I just want more and more of it and I want to share these moments with people who believe that love can light the way. 
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